4 ms·

Honestly - I think this list prioritizes basically just "sweetness" and "crispness" (despite his claimed categories) which is fine - those are generally appeali

Honestly - I think this list prioritizes basically just "sweetness" and "crispness" (despite his claimed categories) which is fine - those are generally appealing things for eating. That said - many of the apples in the "shit" category are fucking delicious. There are days when I want a sweet, crisp apple, and there are days I have a serious hankering for a good ol' granny smith. Even the classic Red Delicious - which gets a really tarnished name in current pop culture is actually a damn good apple... soft, slightly chewy, sweet - but not too sweet, a little hint of bitter in the skin - it's just a different experience than the super sweet, juicy apples that start to just taste like apple juice. Then again - I really like apples, and I'm vaguely suspicious that the site maker just likes sugar water.

skyyler 4y ago
You might find this breakdown of popular american supermarket apples (in the context of pie): https://www.seriouseats.com/the-food-lab-what-are-the-best-apples-for-apple-pies-how-to-make-pie https://www.seriouseats.com/the-food-lab-what-are-the-best-a...
- appleflaxen 4y ago
  That list is incomplete without honey crisp being listed
  - johnbcoughlin 4y ago
    Without having tried it... honeycrisp would be very likely to make a terrible apple pie due to too much water and sweetness.
    - ceejayoz 4y ago
      A waste of money, too. They're 3-4x as expensive as the other apples here.
ishjoh 4y ago
I love Golden Delicious apples. To me they are the standard of what a green apple should taste like. Crisp and tart, truly an amazing apple. Rating on this site was a 33. I suspect you're right that sweet was the highest priority. I also really like HoneyCrisp but I would rate it in the 70s, not the 90s.
- droopyEyelids 4y ago
  A golden delicious is neither crisp (mealy) nor tart (bland, watery)- are you thinking of Granny Smith?
  - nl 4y ago
    > I love Golden Delicious apples. To me they are the standard of what a green apple should taste like. Nor are Golden Delicious' green, so I guess they do mean Granny Smith
    - mpol 4y ago
      Down here in the Netherlands most Golden Delicious are green, only seldom are they yellow. Mealy is when they are not saved well, more often they have a bit of bite. And juicy they are. It might differ per region.
  - derac 4y ago
    I've had some spectacular Golden Delicious apples. I hypothesize that these otherwise mealy apples in the right condition have a soft pearish texture rather than a crisp cucumber-like one, but it is a fragile structure that degrades more rapidly.
  - nine_k 4y ago
    It very much depends on when and where you buy them. Fresh, these are superb. After a week on a shelf, they get soft and a bit bland.
jacobr1 4y ago
> Even the classic Red Delicious You are right about the flavor profile - but Red Delicious gets its bad rap from being mealy. Now that might be due to historical transport and storage practices during the era when Red Delicious reigned supreme, in which case it is indeed a bad rap. But for me crispness is king and I remember eating mealy red delicious apples at school lunch and hating them. I had no problems with the apples my mother bought which were all sorts of non-Red-Delicious varities.
- 2muchcoffeeman 4y ago
  I used to like red delicious as a kid and my perception is that they got worse over time. I still like the other apples I ate as a kid. So I don’t know if this is all in my mind or not.
  - telchior 4y ago
    You're probably right, not sure how old you are but growers kept selectively breeding solely for appearance up to (I think) the 2010s.
    - nine_k 4y ago
      Appearance and shelf life. That's how an apple attracts a buyer on a store shelf. Once you've bought grocery in a store, you're not going to return it if it's so-so but not outright dangerously rotten. And your choice of large stores nearby is limited, so you're not going to stop going to that store.
throwaway675309 4y ago
Even assuming the flavor of red delicious was at all palatable in any sense of the word, it's impossible to get past the fact that they have the tepid texture of water soaked pile of corrugated cardboard. I think you may be an outlier.
- shirleyquirk 4y ago
  They are, I was shocked to discover, delicious and crisp, but you have 30 seconds to eat them after picking before they turn into the horror you describe so eloquently.
  - NBJack 4y ago
    This is most certainly the real culprit. There are undoubtedly markets where the Red Delicious lives up to its name. The rest of us end up with whatever freshness roulette is played by the local supplier; while I too have occasionally eaten a 'good' one, the number of times I end up with an abomination in my taste buds far outweighs it.
  - Blackthorn 4y ago
    Yeah, I even bought one from a local farmstand to see if they really were better fresh. Nope.
- olyjohn 4y ago
  First apple I looked up was Red Delicious, just to see if they're ranked as badly as I think they are. "Coffee Grinds in a Leather Glove" is the tagline for that apple!
nl 4y ago
I love apples - even blogged about them once. I agree with the assessment of Red Delicious - it's just garbage. Being fed them as a kid put me off apples for years. I don't mind the taste of them when cooked or something, but the floury nature of them when eaten fresh is just horrible. I'd be interested in what you think of Jazz apples? To me they are somewhat similar to Red Delicious in taste but the crispness (is there a more crisp apple? I don't think so) makes them a much better experience.
- horsawlarway 4y ago
  Eh - I think the Red Delicious is a complicated apple. It's also hard to accurately judge because for a long time - it was one of the most propagated apples out there, and sadly - time matters a lot for this one. So unless you know they're coming from somewhere very close to you, it's probably too old for hand eating (although I still do it - I don't hate the texture). It doesn't go bad quickly, but it certainly loses a lot of its luster very quickly off the tree. It gets progressively more mealy the longer it's been stored. Which... is the second point - older Red Delicious don't make great hand eating apples because they've lost the texture appeal, but they make a really important part of things like apple tarts or pies. I certainly wouldn't recommend only a red delicious pie - since you basically end up with mush, but they really help hold together a pie when mixed in with other apples. I personally love a pie with 1 red delicious, 1 granny smith, and then 4 filler apples (honey crisp is easy to find and tasty - but I actually prefer Rome, since they're not as sweet). Cut the Red Delicious and Granny Smith up more finely than the other 4, so they mix in well. A lot of recipes say things like "no mushy pies!" but that's not really right - what they mean is that the whole pie shouldn't just be mush, but having a little mush in there is critical - otherwise you end up with apple bricks between layers of pie crust, and it's just really lackluster. That Red Delicious in there is going to help soak up some of the water coming out of the other apples, and give a nice contrast to the firmness/tartness from the granny smith. Then the filler apples are there for sweetness/apple flavor. Long story short - I've talked myself into making another apple pie this weekend...
BoorishBears 4y ago
The second to the top apple is listed for tartness isn't it?

skyyler 4y ago

You might find this breakdown of popular american supermarket apples (in the context of pie): https://www.seriouseats.com/the-food-lab-what-are-the-best-apples-for-apple-pies-how-to-make-pie https://www.seriouseats.com/the-food-lab-what-are-the-best-a...

appleflaxen 4y ago
That list is incomplete without honey crisp being listed
- johnbcoughlin 4y ago
  Without having tried it... honeycrisp would be very likely to make a terrible apple pie due to too much water and sweetness.
  - ceejayoz 4y ago
    A waste of money, too. They're 3-4x as expensive as the other apples here.

ishjoh 4y ago

I love Golden Delicious apples. To me they are the standard of what a green apple should taste like. Crisp and tart, truly an amazing apple. Rating on this site was a 33. I suspect you're right that sweet was the highest priority. I also really like HoneyCrisp but I would rate it in the 70s, not the 90s.

droopyEyelids 4y ago
A golden delicious is neither crisp (mealy) nor tart (bland, watery)- are you thinking of Granny Smith?
- nl 4y ago
  > I love Golden Delicious apples. To me they are the standard of what a green apple should taste like. Nor are Golden Delicious' green, so I guess they do mean Granny Smith
  - mpol 4y ago
    Down here in the Netherlands most Golden Delicious are green, only seldom are they yellow. Mealy is when they are not saved well, more often they have a bit of bite. And juicy they are. It might differ per region.
- derac 4y ago
  I've had some spectacular Golden Delicious apples. I hypothesize that these otherwise mealy apples in the right condition have a soft pearish texture rather than a crisp cucumber-like one, but it is a fragile structure that degrades more rapidly.
- nine_k 4y ago
  It very much depends on when and where you buy them. Fresh, these are superb. After a week on a shelf, they get soft and a bit bland.

jacobr1 4y ago

> Even the classic Red Delicious You are right about the flavor profile - but Red Delicious gets its bad rap from being mealy. Now that might be due to historical transport and storage practices during the era when Red Delicious reigned supreme, in which case it is indeed a bad rap. But for me crispness is king and I remember eating mealy red delicious apples at school lunch and hating them. I had no problems with the apples my mother bought which were all sorts of non-Red-Delicious varities.

2muchcoffeeman 4y ago
I used to like red delicious as a kid and my perception is that they got worse over time. I still like the other apples I ate as a kid. So I don’t know if this is all in my mind or not.
- telchior 4y ago
  You're probably right, not sure how old you are but growers kept selectively breeding solely for appearance up to (I think) the 2010s.
  - nine_k 4y ago
    Appearance and shelf life. That's how an apple attracts a buyer on a store shelf. Once you've bought grocery in a store, you're not going to return it if it's so-so but not outright dangerously rotten. And your choice of large stores nearby is limited, so you're not going to stop going to that store.

throwaway675309 4y ago

Even assuming the flavor of red delicious was at all palatable in any sense of the word, it's impossible to get past the fact that they have the tepid texture of water soaked pile of corrugated cardboard. I think you may be an outlier.

shirleyquirk 4y ago
They are, I was shocked to discover, delicious and crisp, but you have 30 seconds to eat them after picking before they turn into the horror you describe so eloquently.
- NBJack 4y ago
  This is most certainly the real culprit. There are undoubtedly markets where the Red Delicious lives up to its name. The rest of us end up with whatever freshness roulette is played by the local supplier; while I too have occasionally eaten a 'good' one, the number of times I end up with an abomination in my taste buds far outweighs it.
- Blackthorn 4y ago
  Yeah, I even bought one from a local farmstand to see if they really were better fresh. Nope.
olyjohn 4y ago
First apple I looked up was Red Delicious, just to see if they're ranked as badly as I think they are. "Coffee Grinds in a Leather Glove" is the tagline for that apple!

nl 4y ago

I love apples - even blogged about them once. I agree with the assessment of Red Delicious - it's just garbage. Being fed them as a kid put me off apples for years. I don't mind the taste of them when cooked or something, but the floury nature of them when eaten fresh is just horrible. I'd be interested in what you think of Jazz apples? To me they are somewhat similar to Red Delicious in taste but the crispness (is there a more crisp apple? I don't think so) makes them a much better experience.

horsawlarway 4y ago
Eh - I think the Red Delicious is a complicated apple. It's also hard to accurately judge because for a long time - it was one of the most propagated apples out there, and sadly - time matters a lot for this one. So unless you know they're coming from somewhere very close to you, it's probably too old for hand eating (although I still do it - I don't hate the texture). It doesn't go bad quickly, but it certainly loses a lot of its luster very quickly off the tree. It gets progressively more mealy the longer it's been stored. Which... is the second point - older Red Delicious don't make great hand eating apples because they've lost the texture appeal, but they make a really important part of things like apple tarts or pies. I certainly wouldn't recommend only a red delicious pie - since you basically end up with mush, but they really help hold together a pie when mixed in with other apples. I personally love a pie with 1 red delicious, 1 granny smith, and then 4 filler apples (honey crisp is easy to find and tasty - but I actually prefer Rome, since they're not as sweet). Cut the Red Delicious and Granny Smith up more finely than the other 4, so they mix in well. A lot of recipes say things like "no mushy pies!" but that's not really right - what they mean is that the whole pie shouldn't just be mush, but having a little mush in there is critical - otherwise you end up with apple bricks between layers of pie crust, and it's just really lackluster. That Red Delicious in there is going to help soak up some of the water coming out of the other apples, and give a nice contrast to the firmness/tartness from the granny smith. Then the filler apples are there for sweetness/apple flavor. Long story short - I've talked myself into making another apple pie this weekend...

BoorishBears 4y ago

The second to the top apple is listed for tartness isn't it?