4 ms·

I'm a man. I don't even like showing tremendous physical intimacy with the women I go out with on dates. I hate it when people at my workplace or church touch m

I'm a man. I don't even like showing tremendous physical intimacy with the women I go out with on dates. I hate it when people at my workplace or church touch me. My brain says "Get away from me, all of you".

zwkrt 4y ago
- JetAlone 4y ago
  I probably gave that impression by describing it in such dramatic terms. Basically what I'm trying to say is, I don't like being touched much in general by anyone, and who I'm attracted to isn't part of that.
- jimkleiber 4y ago
  I feel pretty frustrated when I hear it labeled as a "mental health problem." For me it sounds like fear maybe stemming from a past experience where he may have been quite vulnerable and got really hurt and wants to avoid feeling so hurt again. And in that framing, I think most of us experience this in different realms of life. I think why I have such strong reactions to "mental health problem" is that I get the impression it says "there's something wrong with you" and may make the person feel more alienated, instead of showing them I too may experience something similar.
  - zwkrt 4y ago
    You’re right I was being harsh, but I wanted to really make a strong point that the above commenter was not describing innate qualities of manhood.
    - JetAlone 4y ago
      I wasn't trying to say this was innate to manhood itself. I started with "I'm a man" so that, combined with information in the second sentence you'd know that I date women. I said it that way because I don't actually identify with any of the sexual orientation labels.
      - deleted 4y ago
        [deleted]
- terryf 4y ago
  Really? Why such a negative comment? As an example, I don't like when people touch my hair. Always had a hard time going to the hairdresser. Don't think that makes me mentally ill. People like different things. Ain't nothing wrong with that.
- AnIdiotOnTheNet 4y ago
  Less a mental health problem than a mere insecurity. Amateur hour psychology: It sounds avoidant to me, an attachment style that is the likely the product of being encouraged to be independent and self sufficient by caregivers (emotionally and/or physically) at a very young age. It leads one to view intimacy as an undesirable form of control.
pmarreck 4y ago
Did you grow up without physical intimacy/closeness from your parents or in particular your father?
- JetAlone 4y ago
  I did have plenty of physical intimacy from my parents and my father growing up. Lots of hugs, kisses from both parents etc. After reading some of the other comments and reflecting, I think it's that I feel like too many of the people in this world are trying to socially manipulate me through touch, when I wish to be away from them.
  - JetAlone 4y ago
    Of course, with a world like ours, the people successfully manipulating me are more likely the ones I can't touch.

zwkrt 4y ago

JetAlone 4y ago
I probably gave that impression by describing it in such dramatic terms. Basically what I'm trying to say is, I don't like being touched much in general by anyone, and who I'm attracted to isn't part of that.
jimkleiber 4y ago
I feel pretty frustrated when I hear it labeled as a "mental health problem." For me it sounds like fear maybe stemming from a past experience where he may have been quite vulnerable and got really hurt and wants to avoid feeling so hurt again. And in that framing, I think most of us experience this in different realms of life. I think why I have such strong reactions to "mental health problem" is that I get the impression it says "there's something wrong with you" and may make the person feel more alienated, instead of showing them I too may experience something similar.
- zwkrt 4y ago
  You’re right I was being harsh, but I wanted to really make a strong point that the above commenter was not describing innate qualities of manhood.
  - JetAlone 4y ago
    I wasn't trying to say this was innate to manhood itself. I started with "I'm a man" so that, combined with information in the second sentence you'd know that I date women. I said it that way because I don't actually identify with any of the sexual orientation labels.
    - deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
terryf 4y ago
Really? Why such a negative comment? As an example, I don't like when people touch my hair. Always had a hard time going to the hairdresser. Don't think that makes me mentally ill. People like different things. Ain't nothing wrong with that.
AnIdiotOnTheNet 4y ago
Less a mental health problem than a mere insecurity. Amateur hour psychology: It sounds avoidant to me, an attachment style that is the likely the product of being encouraged to be independent and self sufficient by caregivers (emotionally and/or physically) at a very young age. It leads one to view intimacy as an undesirable form of control.

pmarreck 4y ago

Did you grow up without physical intimacy/closeness from your parents or in particular your father?

JetAlone 4y ago
I did have plenty of physical intimacy from my parents and my father growing up. Lots of hugs, kisses from both parents etc. After reading some of the other comments and reflecting, I think it's that I feel like too many of the people in this world are trying to socially manipulate me through touch, when I wish to be away from them.
- JetAlone 4y ago
  Of course, with a world like ours, the people successfully manipulating me are more likely the ones I can't touch.