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> and a NT wife. Partner and I have been together for 13 years now. She’s almost certainly on the ADHD spectrum but less severe than me. Things are great besid

> and a NT wife. Partner and I have been together for 13 years now. She’s almost certainly on the ADHD spectrum but less severe than me. Things are great besides the fact that we both neglect a lot of stuff that NT folks don’t really struggle with. But retrospectively, that’s one of the most interesting things for me. I think back to a lot of the previous relationships I had, and the vast majority of them failed due to conflict that I can now see was ADHD-induced. Impulse control and finances, house cleaning, new random hobby obsession, boredom, substance abuse… When I finally realized a year and a bit ago what ADHD actually was and how a lot of my behaviours weren’t typical, I had this very profound moment where it simultaneously felt like all the air was sucked out of the room and everything finally made sense. Edit: > <glares angrily at his very expensive mill and lathe he uses only occasionally>. I swear to god I’m going to get the mill running again this year.

dboreham 4y ago
Meh. Lathe is small potatoes. Get a pdp-11/70.
- tonyarkles 4y ago
  Thanks for the yak shave! I’m out of empty slots in the breaker panel, and, well, a couple of the rooms have two-prong outlets with no ground… guess I need to rewire the whole house and install a new panel! And since we’ll have to cut into the drywall, may as well upgrade the insulation and vapour barrier while we’re in there.
  - zrail 4y ago
    While you're doing insulation and vapor barrier might as well replace all the windows too. Think of the efficiency gains!
    - tonyarkles 4y ago
      Oh! Definitely! Good catch, thanks for the design review :D
bitexploder 4y ago
Good luck with the mill, heh. My wife is an almost perfect opposite to me. She is very patient, calm. I got super lucky. The only person I ever dated. She has an innate capacity for tolerating me. And my son, who is also deep with ADHD. She never judged me for all my bullshit over the years either. I think having kids younger was both terrible and great for me. It forces me to focus and take career seriously, but it was also really hard.

dboreham 4y ago

Meh. Lathe is small potatoes. Get a pdp-11/70.

tonyarkles 4y ago
Thanks for the yak shave! I’m out of empty slots in the breaker panel, and, well, a couple of the rooms have two-prong outlets with no ground… guess I need to rewire the whole house and install a new panel! And since we’ll have to cut into the drywall, may as well upgrade the insulation and vapour barrier while we’re in there.
- zrail 4y ago
  While you're doing insulation and vapor barrier might as well replace all the windows too. Think of the efficiency gains!
  - tonyarkles 4y ago
    Oh! Definitely! Good catch, thanks for the design review :D

bitexploder 4y ago

Good luck with the mill, heh. My wife is an almost perfect opposite to me. She is very patient, calm. I got super lucky. The only person I ever dated. She has an innate capacity for tolerating me. And my son, who is also deep with ADHD. She never judged me for all my bullshit over the years either. I think having kids younger was both terrible and great for me. It forces me to focus and take career seriously, but it was also really hard.