TL;DR: "I used to be on Twitter and now I'm trying to force Mastodon into being Twitter, ignoring what Mastodon actually is and why it was built, and now I'm up

TL;DR: "I used to be on Twitter and now I'm trying to force Mastodon into being Twitter, ignoring what Mastodon actually is and why it was built, and now I'm upset because it didn't work". Mastodon doesn't need to scale like Twitter, the point of Mastodon is many instances, not a single giant one. Sounds like Mastodon is not for you. Good, you can leave now. Mastodon's mission is not, and never has been, replacing Twitter.