4 ms·

> I think the best time to remind those kind of people of this, is when they get fucked over themselves at some point. Alternative POV: that's the worst time.

> I think the best time to remind those kind of people of this, is when they get fucked over themselves at some point. Alternative POV: that's the worst time. At those moments, the person is unlikely to be very receptive. They'll see it as proof that you are a bitter, vengeful person not worth listening to. Yes, that would a bit hypocritical of them, but that's humanity for you. That hardens people, leading to exactly the kind of cold-hearted comments the original commenter was talking about. Also, you will have foregone an opportunity to show contrast with a better way of being around other people. Lead by example, and all that. I suggest that the best time is a while after such an event, when they have recovered from it but it's still fresh in their memory. While they're feeling good about having received help, that's a good time to remind them that giving help also feels good. I've seen people's attitudes get turned around by that, vs. never by forsaking them in an hour of need.

coldtea 4y ago
Yeah, after the fact might work too. But the fact being painful and an experienced of how bad how they treat others is, I've also seen help, in a "Damn, have I've been such a jerk to others all along?" way. Else many will often brush it off and reboot the "jerk" act when they've recovered. Especially if they feel entitled to the help and compassion shown to them when they're down, and it helps them recover faster and scratch free (and thus makes the falling down less impactful). In that case they end up still not valuing said help and compassion (because for them it was on full and easy supply).
HWR_14 4y ago
Unless it is explicitly pointed out to them before help is given to them that it is help, they usually refuse to recognize it after the fact. I'm not saying that you shouldn't help. But I've seen a lot of people get helped and then immediately deny anyone ever did. Feel free after to make the point that normally such help should be given cheerfully, or different types of help they can pay forward.

coldtea 4y ago

Yeah, after the fact might work too. But the fact being painful and an experienced of how bad how they treat others is, I've also seen help, in a "Damn, have I've been such a jerk to others all along?" way. Else many will often brush it off and reboot the "jerk" act when they've recovered. Especially if they feel entitled to the help and compassion shown to them when they're down, and it helps them recover faster and scratch free (and thus makes the falling down less impactful). In that case they end up still not valuing said help and compassion (because for them it was on full and easy supply).

HWR_14 4y ago

Unless it is explicitly pointed out to them before help is given to them that it is help, they usually refuse to recognize it after the fact. I'm not saying that you shouldn't help. But I've seen a lot of people get helped and then immediately deny anyone ever did. Feel free after to make the point that normally such help should be given cheerfully, or different types of help they can pay forward.