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Could you expand a bit on the link between free love, and later-in-life commitments? It seems a little like you're saying that people have a responsibility to

Could you expand a bit on the link between free love, and later-in-life commitments? It seems a little like you're saying that people have a responsibility to make the next generation of caretakers? To me as a late-30s person with no intention to reproduce, that seems a little like: damned if you do, damned if you don't. And, it leaves me wondering if I've missed out by not pursuing this free love thing.

savolai 4y ago
They're not implying such a responsibility to reproduce, seems to me. What I'm hearing from the parent comment is that they're weighing positives and negatives of focusing on commitment vs focusing on freedom, respectively, in different situations.
- bacon_waffle 4y ago
  Hmm, I'm still not seeing the connection. How does a steady monogamous relationship, especially in that "procreative stage", make it easier (or harder?) to grow old, or deal with aging parents?
  - Hossenffefer 4y ago
    The web of responsibilities multiply. To your point, children are a choice and thus effect the shape of said web. As the reading mentions that some advocated for more romantic fluidity, moving with the heart. I saw this as a more youthful pursuit. As with aging, other issues, that have more to do with compassion and duty, come to the fore. I would say the hope of a steady relationship would be a partner to help navigate said challenges.
    - bacon_waffle 4y ago
      Thanks for the response - I like the sentence about the web of responsibilities multiplying, and I think that's kinda what I'm getting at. Maybe I'm weird, or doing it wrong, but in my life so far, I just don't see a real tie between romantic relationships and those familial/aging/life responsibilities. My partner and I each have our webs of responsibilities; the edge between us goes both ways, and I can't see how it being labelled "romantic partner" has any bearing on the rest of the web. Sometimes that edge makes dealing with a particular family situation easier, sometimes it doesn't. I don't think it's even possible to say whether there's any net effect, since of course there's more to it than this, and the experiment only gets run once. There are two straightforward contributors to younger people being more interested in that sort of romantic fluidity: hormones and energy.

savolai 4y ago

They're not implying such a responsibility to reproduce, seems to me. What I'm hearing from the parent comment is that they're weighing positives and negatives of focusing on commitment vs focusing on freedom, respectively, in different situations.

bacon_waffle 4y ago
Hmm, I'm still not seeing the connection. How does a steady monogamous relationship, especially in that "procreative stage", make it easier (or harder?) to grow old, or deal with aging parents?
- Hossenffefer 4y ago
  The web of responsibilities multiply. To your point, children are a choice and thus effect the shape of said web. As the reading mentions that some advocated for more romantic fluidity, moving with the heart. I saw this as a more youthful pursuit. As with aging, other issues, that have more to do with compassion and duty, come to the fore. I would say the hope of a steady relationship would be a partner to help navigate said challenges.
  - bacon_waffle 4y ago
    Thanks for the response - I like the sentence about the web of responsibilities multiplying, and I think that's kinda what I'm getting at. Maybe I'm weird, or doing it wrong, but in my life so far, I just don't see a real tie between romantic relationships and those familial/aging/life responsibilities. My partner and I each have our webs of responsibilities; the edge between us goes both ways, and I can't see how it being labelled "romantic partner" has any bearing on the rest of the web. Sometimes that edge makes dealing with a particular family situation easier, sometimes it doesn't. I don't think it's even possible to say whether there's any net effect, since of course there's more to it than this, and the experiment only gets run once. There are two straightforward contributors to younger people being more interested in that sort of romantic fluidity: hormones and energy.