> As I’m now approaching midlife and my life hasn’t really turned out the way I’d planned (no wife, no kids, no skyrocketing career) I feel like I don’t really

> As I’m now approaching midlife and my life hasn’t really turned out the way I’d planned (no wife, no kids, no skyrocketing career) I feel like I don’t really have all that much to lose. I know a group of older guys who had the same mentality when they were younger, but now generally regret their steroid use and subsequent destruction of their natural testosterone production. You will find a lot of optimistic posts and articles from people who want to believe that HPTA axis suppression from steroids and/or exogenous testosterone is reversible, but it’s quite common for people to irreversibly damage their natural production despite doing all of the “right” things and cycle practices. If you go into this, do it with the assumption that it’s a one-way street that will result in a lifelong dependency on testosterone medications and potential adjunct medications that need to be adjusted from time to time. The other thing people discover is that while TRT can get your testosterone levels back to the same number as before, it never quite feels the same as natural production did. Your hormone systems are more than singular chemicals and the various diurnal cycles and downstream metabolites have effects that aren’t accurately replicated with the medications. A lot of people will spend time trying to fine tune with aromatase inhibitors and so on, but it’s difficult to get it all right. It’s not a case of “more is better” when it comes to testosterone, either. Finally, it’s interesting to see how much the older power lifters I know regret all of the damage done to their bodies. Steroids allow for higher weights, but that opens the door to bigger injuries and more wear and tear. The person who originally got me into lifting ultimately committed suicide after years of pain from injuries and reduced mobility from injuries sustained during his steroid use. It’s easy to look at these stories and think “that won’t happen to me because I’ll do it the right way” but I’ve seen enough people go down the steroid use -> TRT -> regret sequence that I suggest you don’t approach this lightly. You actually have a lot to lose, and the potential gains (in your life, not just the gym) are likely not going to be as satisfying as you imagine them to be after the early effects of first-time use wear off.