5 ms·

This is pretty much how it works in the military, except it's because you are single you don't need to get paid as much as people who are married, but since you

• deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
• jermaustin1 4y ago
  You marry for the benefits, you divorce because of the rampant adultery and loneliness. Every military couple I have known has divorced, and in each case it was adultery that lead to that. On either side of the marriage. I never went into the armed forces, but I had considered the US NAVY even got my ASVAB and was told I would be assigned Navy Nuke, but on the drive home from the processing facility, the recruiter was bragging about all the sex I would be having around the world. He was saying that knowing that I was in a long term relationship. That really put me off joining.
  • O__________O 4y ago
    What’s even more strange is people trust the military to be loyal, but the amount of cheating relative to the general population in my opinion literally creates a culture that values cheats. To be fair, not aware of any military that’s managed to avoid the pattern and would honestly be curious to know of how any have avoided it.
    • jermaustin1 4y ago
      I've only known a single officer, but she said it was a lot less prevalent amongst officers than enlisted, still happens (she was in fact having an extramarital affair at the time - I found out later), but it is probably closer to the real world average. Maybe there is less need to marry before you are ready as an officer.
      • O__________O 4y ago
        My experience is that it goes all the way to the top ranks, including generals.
        • kjellsbells 4y ago
          David Petraeus has entered the chat.
      • samatman 4y ago
        What a great example of the old saw "who are you going to believe, me, or your lying eyes?". "Oh yeah we don't do that much" (soothes class anxiety and guilt, smiles at you) And what was your takeaway? It wasn't that the adulterer was lying: why not? How often does a pretty smile do this to you?
    • least 4y ago
      The military trains you to be loyal to your comrades, not your spouse, but in my experience the person cheating in the relationship is usually the spouse of the service member, not the service member. Recruiters talking about getting laid a ton is probably because the primary recruiting demographic is young single men, and they will say just about anything to get people to sign contracts.
      • O__________O 4y ago
        Military in my experience is ruthlessly about self preservation - which is not in my opinion about loyalty, but about survival career wise and on the battlefield.
        • least 4y ago
          > Military in my experience... What sort of experience do you have with the military? As someone who has served in the U.S. military, loyalty is absolutely drilled into you; it's integral to battle readiness, which is ultimately the military's goal. They instill the value of loyalty as far as it serves to make soldiers that are willing to fight and die for each other and for their country. That doesn't extend to any and everything, but I don't think any of your arguments that the military creates a culture of cheating are substantiated. The military actually creates disincentives from cheating that do not exist in the civilian world with the UCMJ.
          • O__________O 4y ago
            Loyalty would not require enlistment contracts that generally last eight years as an active duty member, a reservist, or individual ready reservist — which if broken might result in jail time. Just imagine how “loyal” employees, marriages, etc would be if there only choice was to sign similar contracts. As for the battlefield, there is not duty to country, only those you’re in direct line of command with. Better hope they never break the law, since if they do, you report them, you will end up dead if you’re in active combat. The “drilling” you referred to is more comparable to brain washing than loyalty bound to reasoning. Yes, loyalty is an idle frequently never found, but to call someone loyal because they signed a contract or because they know what will happen if the report those willfully breaking the law, to me is not loyalty. In US, military within recent past had to literally and repeatedly remind all the military that their duty was to the country, not an idealogy or person — which would not have been done if the military truly was loyal, trusted itself, etc.
  • deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
• i_am_proteus 4y ago
  If I had a dollar for every enlisted guy I knew who got married to get the extra $1000-2500[a] a month and permission to live off base (unmarried enlisted E-4 and below live in barracks, married enlisted get a housing allowance and live off base, or get private on-base housing in lieu of the housing allowance)... ...and then got divorced a few years later because he got married for the wrong reasons, well, I'd have a few more dollars. [a]Housing allowances vary based on location and rank.
  • mcv 4y ago
    $2000 a month? That's a hefty dowry.