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It is saying that you may not be able to marry the person that you do actually want to marry though, and the justification given by some people is that is so th

It is saying that you may not be able to marry the person that you do actually want to marry though, and the justification given by some people is that is so that you are incentivised instead marry someone else, someone you presumably did not really want to marry. https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/07/case-against-polygamy/397823/ https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/07/case-ag... > monogamy's main cultural evolutionary advantage over polygyny is the more egalitarian distribution of women, which reduces male competition and social problems. It's this 'distribution of women' that seems dark to me. That can't be that much of a crazy opinion as people here seem to think?

jonahx 4y ago
> It's this 'distribution of women' that seems dark to me. That can't be that much of a crazy opinion as people here seem to think? It's a very analytical, "cold" way to phrase it, yes, but you get this effect with many "human" problems that are studied scientifically, whether poverty, starvation, etc. Also note the same researchers can, and do, refer to the 'distribution of men' when discussing female mating preferences. > incentivised instead marry someone else, someone you presumably did not really want to marry. At a macro level, this is obviously true statistically. But do people experience it as such? You live in a non-polygamous society -- do you or the women you know feel like their spouses were forced on them? Because, to some degree, statistically, they were, as you correctly point out. But the mechanism is just via an accepted, background social norm... there are no arranged marriages, all marriages all voluntary, and everyone retains the option not to marry.
- chrisseaton 4y ago
  Yeah the theoretical situation is "I love X - can I marry him? No. Why not? Because he's already married and the other men will get violent if they don't also get a wife." and that sounds shitty. I don't know how many people experience that in reality.
  - jonahx 4y ago
    But that is exactly the current system we have in the US and UK. He can divorce and marry you, but that "frees up" his ex-wife to appease the roiling crowd of violent men. I'm being facetious, of course, because who thinks about it like that? No one. We just experience a cultural norm where people only marry one other person. And mostly no one complains. And yet indirectly this norm has a macro statistical effect of keeping the peace.
    - deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
    - chrisseaton 4y ago
      > But that is exactly the current system we have in the US and UK. Yeah I know - that's the situation I'm talking about. I know nobody seems to complain in public but I guess there are people out there is applies to. Maybe one day it'll change and people will be free to marry who they want.
      - jonahx 4y ago
        > Maybe one day it'll change and people will be free to marry who they want. People don't complain in private either. I've literally never heard it, even 2nd hand. You're making it sound like a law against marrying someone of a difference race. It is nothing like that. Most Western women would be appalled at the idea of being someone's 3rd wife. There is tiny subculture of poly-amorous people. Maybe some of them complain? But they can still be with who they want, just without the official seal.

jonahx 4y ago

> It's this 'distribution of women' that seems dark to me. That can't be that much of a crazy opinion as people here seem to think? It's a very analytical, "cold" way to phrase it, yes, but you get this effect with many "human" problems that are studied scientifically, whether poverty, starvation, etc. Also note the same researchers can, and do, refer to the 'distribution of men' when discussing female mating preferences. > incentivised instead marry someone else, someone you presumably did not really want to marry. At a macro level, this is obviously true statistically. But do people experience it as such? You live in a non-polygamous society -- do you or the women you know feel like their spouses were forced on them? Because, to some degree, statistically, they were, as you correctly point out. But the mechanism is just via an accepted, background social norm... there are no arranged marriages, all marriages all voluntary, and everyone retains the option not to marry.

chrisseaton 4y ago
Yeah the theoretical situation is "I love X - can I marry him? No. Why not? Because he's already married and the other men will get violent if they don't also get a wife." and that sounds shitty. I don't know how many people experience that in reality.
- jonahx 4y ago
  But that is exactly the current system we have in the US and UK. He can divorce and marry you, but that "frees up" his ex-wife to appease the roiling crowd of violent men. I'm being facetious, of course, because who thinks about it like that? No one. We just experience a cultural norm where people only marry one other person. And mostly no one complains. And yet indirectly this norm has a macro statistical effect of keeping the peace.
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
  - chrisseaton 4y ago
    > But that is exactly the current system we have in the US and UK. Yeah I know - that's the situation I'm talking about. I know nobody seems to complain in public but I guess there are people out there is applies to. Maybe one day it'll change and people will be free to marry who they want.
    - jonahx 4y ago
      > Maybe one day it'll change and people will be free to marry who they want. People don't complain in private either. I've literally never heard it, even 2nd hand. You're making it sound like a law against marrying someone of a difference race. It is nothing like that. Most Western women would be appalled at the idea of being someone's 3rd wife. There is tiny subculture of poly-amorous people. Maybe some of them complain? But they can still be with who they want, just without the official seal.