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One piece that's missing from this essay is the role of one's friends and family. When I had to replace my car a few years ago, I chose a modest Subaru. I was a

One piece that's missing from this essay is the role of one's friends and family. When I had to replace my car a few years ago, I chose a modest Subaru. I was asked repeatedly by people in my social circle why I didn't chose something flashier, like a BMW or a Mercedes, because I was a software engineer now and "you can afford it, so why not?" Or, equivalently, "What are you going do with all that money, anyway, if you aren't spending it, you should give it to me." The idea that someone else can choose to spend less than they earn is very alien to a lot of people.

bombcar 4y ago
You can always imply that 'alimony' or something is taking the majority, most people will quiet down at that point.
- quanticle 4y ago
  Not when those people are family members. They know damn well I've never been married.
  - bombcar 4y ago
    True, but you can never really satisfy the type of family member who has "ideas" - even if you got a BMW it'd be the wrong type, etc etc.
foogazi 4y ago
> because I was a software engineer now and "you can afford it, so why not?" If you can afford it yeah - also live a little, don’t be a miser
- quanticle 4y ago
  Because I prefer to be able to afford to spend six months to a year out of work. It's the same principle as startups working to ensure their runway is as long as feasibly possible.
  - blooalien 4y ago
    Indeed… Or perhaps to be able to retire someday without ending up homeless or living as if you were…
havblue 4y ago
While we certainly don't spend more than we make, the fact that I'm not entirely in control of the budget was in the back of my head when I read the article. "Okay, I'll just convince my wife that organic food and private schools aren't that important..."
nunez 4y ago
"i don't give a shit about cars" is the answer to that maybe you spend serious dollars on bespoke japanese mechanical keyboards or something! anyway, if you think your SO's spending exceeds your comfort levels, you should talk to them and tell them that! and if your friends/family think you should spend more...well, give them a link to your local coding bootcamp!

bombcar 4y ago

You can always imply that 'alimony' or something is taking the majority, most people will quiet down at that point.

quanticle 4y ago
Not when those people are family members. They know damn well I've never been married.
- bombcar 4y ago
  True, but you can never really satisfy the type of family member who has "ideas" - even if you got a BMW it'd be the wrong type, etc etc.

foogazi 4y ago

> because I was a software engineer now and "you can afford it, so why not?" If you can afford it yeah - also live a little, don’t be a miser

quanticle 4y ago
Because I prefer to be able to afford to spend six months to a year out of work. It's the same principle as startups working to ensure their runway is as long as feasibly possible.
- blooalien 4y ago
  Indeed… Or perhaps to be able to retire someday without ending up homeless or living as if you were…

havblue 4y ago

While we certainly don't spend more than we make, the fact that I'm not entirely in control of the budget was in the back of my head when I read the article. "Okay, I'll just convince my wife that organic food and private schools aren't that important..."

nunez 4y ago

"i don't give a shit about cars" is the answer to that maybe you spend serious dollars on bespoke japanese mechanical keyboards or something! anyway, if you think your SO's spending exceeds your comfort levels, you should talk to them and tell them that! and if your friends/family think you should spend more...well, give them a link to your local coding bootcamp!