>a big component of these kinds of fights is test of your patience This is a good insight. At some point you manage to carry on despite all the bad feelings, a

>a big component of these kinds of fights is test of your patience This is a good insight. At some point you manage to carry on despite all the bad feelings, and you're simply dragging yourself through the last bit of crap that's holding you back. I recognise that my patience is limited, so I've set myself a goal that I can attain before it runs out (getting out of here and back to a sunny country). It's frustrating to know that many people said, while I was going through the worst of it, that going back to Australia, back home, would be running away from my problems. One thing I learnt during it all was that everyone gives different advice. You're so vulerable, and no matter what people say, you often follow it. It took me at least one year, if not two, to not take advice too seriously, except that which I gave myself. It's nice to get some control back, even though the things I can't control (my thoughts and feelings) still make life difficult. It's been good to just vent a little even if it's to strangers and in public, though mostly anonymous. What I find difficult is that I don't really know many people that are willing to simply listen. Mostly people brush off how you are feeling with "everything heals with time", but all you need is "yes, you're feeling absolutely rotten right now. I understand." It's the people that really can relate that stop ignoring you're current situation, as if it didn't matter because something better will be there eventually. So much more to vent, but I'll save it for someone else :) Home stretch. Just 2.5 more weeks, and I can quit my job and then the rest is just logistics.