The corollary to just is "should". It took me a while to accept some things aren't trivial to change and telling myself things should be a certain way is not he

The corollary to just is "should". It took me a while to accept some things aren't trivial to change and telling myself things should be a certain way is not helpful. Almost every advice I come across on self-improvement is wrong for me. Very few people have considered my experience and limitations. Most of it is actively harmful to implement. Funnily enough, the project management strategies I use at work are extremely helpful with this. Given a problem (a "should"), we need ask "what needs to change", "what is required to change it", and "what is the priority" (urgency X impact). Then we can decide if this needs to be focused on right now. :)