3 ms·

I think your first clarification answered my question. It just seemed like you were saying something along the lines of "I'm interested in being diligent about

I think your first clarification answered my question. It just seemed like you were saying something along the lines of "I'm interested in being diligent about the finances, and she pays less attention but occasionally agrees to talk about it" which would indicate there's some level of disagreement in spending patterns from the same pool of cash. But I think that was just a misinterpretation of how you initially phrased your comment and I'd agree with your last paragraph.

odysseus 4y ago
In most (but definitely not all) relationships, one person is more diligent about finances, and the other person is a bit of a free spirit ("budgets are boring"). Is there disagreement? Sure. But not at budget reviews - we agree on shared goals. More at the level of "I'm thinking of buying a ..." We check each other. Sometimes we convince the other to not to buy something, other times it's totally OK, and in a few, we compromise/disagree and commit. Each person understands the financial + practical consequences in that last case. The important thing is there's easygoing communication happening before big money actually gets spent (or not spent). There's no hiding purchases (or accounts) from the other person. Everything is out in the open. There's also "blow money" / "fun money" - a sum allocated to each spouse that they can spend or save on whatever they want - no discussion necessary. ----- (I have relatives that are both free spirits, and in that case, it's tough to see so much money flying out the window. But they keep their income up, and they also automate a lot of their savings so they don't have to think about it.)