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I had a similar response and it led to a some self reflection: At first I thought the sobbing line was hyperbole, then I thought "why would someone admit that?

I had a similar response and it led to a some self reflection: At first I thought the sobbing line was hyperbole, then I thought "why would someone admit that?" then I saw the author had a feminine first name and thought "why is it OK for a woman to admit to crying about this?" then I thought "why would a man not admit to crying about this?" then I remembered that I'm emotionally stunted and society still thinks it is acceptable to demonise men who have emotions.

hsn915 4y ago
I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. It is just what it is. > society still thinks it is acceptable to demonise men who have emotions. "Still". As if that will change someday. It will not. Women are inherently valuable because they can bare children. Men have no inherent value so they must prove their value. A man sobbing over mean comments is signalling that he is of low value.
- deleted 4y ago
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- boredhedgehog 4y ago
  No, we're clearly not looking at something immutable here. Historically, our society is the aberration. Jesus Christ, Achilles, Guan Yu... They all wept openly, and nobody found it strange.
  - hsn915 4y ago
    Did Jesus cry because someone said mean words to him? Men would cry over lost friends, family, destroyed homes, town, long gone memories, etc. Not over being bullied by someone they don't know. EDIT: When men cry, it's not to appeal for help from others. It's to display deep attachment. You cry with your friends over your destroyed home or your fallen comrades, to show each other that you cared deeply about them, and you bond through this ritual. (and wsually it's not uncontrollable sobbing). A leader might cry as an act of charismatic leadership to move his audience and rally them behind a cause.
  - poszlem 4y ago
    If you can show me that Jesus ever cried because someone made a mean comment about his carpentry work, I could probably agree.
zaphar 4y ago
There are certainly subcultures of society that demonize men for having emotions. There are also subcultures of society that do not. Do you really think it's our wider culture to demonize emotion in men? My particular subset of subcultures does not demonize it but I could be in a bubble.
- hsn915 4y ago
  I didn't speak of emotions as a generic term. If I did, it was miscommunication. Men have emotions, but they can't appeal to people for help based on being sad, specially being sad from things that are not physically harmful. "This guy I don't know said mean things about me and it made me cry". Only women and children can say something like this and get sympathy and support.
  - walljm 4y ago
    I think you're right, in that open displays of emotion are rarer in men. I'm not sure you're correct in the assertion that men can't appeal to people for help based on being sad. At least, that hasn't been my experience. I think men don't display/communicate their emotions in the same way, but I think its somewhat normal (at least it is today) for men to seek out help for something because they are experiencing conflict and it bothers them.

hsn915 4y ago

I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. It is just what it is. > society still thinks it is acceptable to demonise men who have emotions. "Still". As if that will change someday. It will not. Women are inherently valuable because they can bare children. Men have no inherent value so they must prove their value. A man sobbing over mean comments is signalling that he is of low value.

deleted 4y ago
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boredhedgehog 4y ago
No, we're clearly not looking at something immutable here. Historically, our society is the aberration. Jesus Christ, Achilles, Guan Yu... They all wept openly, and nobody found it strange.
- hsn915 4y ago
  Did Jesus cry because someone said mean words to him? Men would cry over lost friends, family, destroyed homes, town, long gone memories, etc. Not over being bullied by someone they don't know. EDIT: When men cry, it's not to appeal for help from others. It's to display deep attachment. You cry with your friends over your destroyed home or your fallen comrades, to show each other that you cared deeply about them, and you bond through this ritual. (and wsually it's not uncontrollable sobbing). A leader might cry as an act of charismatic leadership to move his audience and rally them behind a cause.
- poszlem 4y ago
  If you can show me that Jesus ever cried because someone made a mean comment about his carpentry work, I could probably agree.

zaphar 4y ago

There are certainly subcultures of society that demonize men for having emotions. There are also subcultures of society that do not. Do you really think it's our wider culture to demonize emotion in men? My particular subset of subcultures does not demonize it but I could be in a bubble.

hsn915 4y ago
I didn't speak of emotions as a generic term. If I did, it was miscommunication. Men have emotions, but they can't appeal to people for help based on being sad, specially being sad from things that are not physically harmful. "This guy I don't know said mean things about me and it made me cry". Only women and children can say something like this and get sympathy and support.
- walljm 4y ago
  I think you're right, in that open displays of emotion are rarer in men. I'm not sure you're correct in the assertion that men can't appeal to people for help based on being sad. At least, that hasn't been my experience. I think men don't display/communicate their emotions in the same way, but I think its somewhat normal (at least it is today) for men to seek out help for something because they are experiencing conflict and it bothers them.