I have 4 children - 2 step children, ranging from approx 15 - 30 years old and a variety of neurotypes, so given they all still mostly talk to me, I feel I have

I have 4 children - 2 step children, ranging from approx 15 - 30 years old and a variety of neurotypes, so given they all still mostly talk to me, I feel I have some basis to make comment. I am adding this as an edit because I forgot, get a sling (not a baby bjorn, I think they are expensive shit). In a sling, the baby can lie there asleep or looking up at you and you get two free hands, to wrangle no. 1 and 2, not drop the car keys down the grate, or whatever. The arrival of the well made $25 sling in our house with no. 2 made a world of difference, don't wait for no. 2 to get one. Always give your children one free strike on any thing they mess up with on the first time, then explain to them very clearly so they know (have them repeat it back to you in their words) - dont punish them or get angry with them for a first time offence, but second time, assume negligence or malice unless they can explain in great detail otherwise. Set firm boundaries early, in the first 2-3 years, but let them roam freely within those boundaries - you may well find that you don't need to be so firm in later years, the expectation has been created. Don't gloat to any one else how yours is a "sleeper" because you are such awesome parents. Experience has shown whether your infant is a good sleeper or not usualy has zero to do with any parenting qualities, good or bad. Those that do gloat, expect the karma of the universe to rain down on you for child no. 2 or 3. Don't try and live your life, especially your unfulfilled life, thru your children. Those unable to fend for themselves or provide for themselves unconditionally come first - this is not an excuse to neglect your spouse. Don't hothouse your children, I've yet to see this not backfire in some fairly serious sense eventually, sometimes an ultimate and tragic one. Push them a little, teach them to extend themselves, but let them run theior own race in their own way, that way when you are not around they won't be helpless. Try and explain to them, fruitless though it will seem, and likely be, the value that youth holds in so many ways. Not the least for youth, that time somwhere betweem roughly 10 and 16 yo where they have (what seems, looking back) all the time in the world to persue one or two things they really like and to build the foundation to be really good at these, or just ok at them, but effortless. Once you get older you realise it is extremely rare to ever find like time like that again as an adult and a parent. Teach them that failure is not the same as failing, any mistake you only make once and learn from is valuable. Those that need to occur ten times to learn from are potentially costly. Let them learn the lessons, harsh they may seem, as early as possible - the later in life some lessons are learned, the more expensive they can be. Some, if put off until considered an adult by society, can ruin a life. To do the above you have to let them have some freedoms to potentially make these mistakes themselves - many things can be told, but never taught, and must be learned to be truly effective. Little tricks, you will develop your own, but here is one thing that can really help - at some point (can't remember exactly but maybe 6-9 months) a single nappy/diaper will not hold enough liquid so that they can get thru the night without the seepage getting cold from evaporative cooling and waking you up at 2 or 3 in the morning. Practice the nappy origami - fold a second nappy inside the first in a strategic location and you will find that you can get sleep thru the night back (if they were before.) Final point, if you are a Dad and working, and the mother is stay at home, when you are at home take every possible opportunity to change every possible nappy you can - the mother wil be so grateful and likely think you are the best Dad in the world, and it is time spent with your infant that may well constitute some of the best quality time you are going to get for certain periods of their early life.