First, I'm looking at apartments on the market RIGHT NOW that are under $3k. You can apply for these right now. We're also using an extreme, living in Manhatta

First, I'm looking at apartments on the market RIGHT NOW that are under $3k. You can apply for these right now. We're also using an extreme, living in Manhattan is a luxury. It is one of the most expensive places to live on the planet. Even using this extreme your argument doesn't hold water. You would do well on $200k paying $3.5k/m in rent. That's high, but shouldn't kill you. I would argue that using the median or average in an area that has so much luxury housing is also dishonest. I know people paying over $5k for STUDIO APARTMENTS in NYC. They love the building, I dunno! JC median 1br is $3k, north bergen nj 2br is $2,400.... but there are plenty of 1 and 2br in JC and NB that are under $2k on the market right now. Thousands of units, actually. Including kids, or if you have a stay at home spouse or something, you're right. You can't really live in the area on $200k. That is a problem. Your wife needs to work and bring in at least $80k, especially if you have more than 2 kids. But we're kind of moving the goalposts here, aren't we?