Is it worse to have some condition of your birth used as a casual insult -- a reminder of the generally accepted disfavor of your condition? Or is it worse to

Is it worse to have some condition of your birth used as a casual insult -- a reminder of the generally accepted disfavor of your condition? Or is it worse to be constantly patronized, behind your back, by throngs hell-bent on pretending away that generally accepted disfavor (and even Darwin himself)?