Somewhere around here I have, or possibly I gave to my weird uncle years ago, a copy of "the worst-case scenario survival handbook", which has mostly-genuine ad

Somewhere around here I have, or possibly I gave to my weird uncle years ago, a copy of "the worst-case scenario survival handbook", which has mostly-genuine advice for all sorts of interesting situations like how to stop a runaway car, how to stop a runaway camel, how to survive an avalanche, etc. In the back is a phrasebook, with a few dozen common phrases translated into a handful of potentially-useful languages. It includes such gems as "I am sorry, I did not mean to offend you", "please take me to a hospital", "why is the water brown", "where is the embassy", and the last phrase is "you will never take me alive".