8 ms·

Not just employee gifts, but nearly all gifts are valued less by the receiver than the giver. A gift represents a decision made on behalf of the receiver by th

by jerlam 4y ago

Not just employee gifts, but nearly all gifts are valued less by the receiver than the giver. A gift represents a decision made on behalf of the receiver by the giver. In very few situations would the receiver make the same decision as the giver with the same resources. It's assumed that the receiver will use the same resources in an optimal manner, so gift-giving is a net negative. In some circumstances, gifts are valued higher by the receiver than the giver. Gifts of time, of expertise, of opportunity, or things that the giver can get at a much lower cost than the receiver - these can be more appreciated. Anyway, that's my grand theory of gifting, and why I generally avoid it, unless I can make it worthwhile to the gift receiver.

imartin2k 4y ago
Yep in most cases and to different degrees in different cultures and contexts, gifting seems to be a procedure that primarily is about the giver and their needs, rather than about the receiver - while claiming the opposite.
m463 4y ago
That's what makes it easy to know what gift to give a kid - they will tell you.
- Al-Khwarizmi 4y ago
  If I always gifted my son what he asks, he would have nothing but cars and other vehicles. He wouldn't have discovered many other kinds of toys that he loves (as well as some that he doesn't, of course... one can't have a 100% success rate). Gifting can be a good way to expose people to new things that they might like, and this is even more so in the case of kids, as they ask from a much more restricted set of known things than adults.
GameOfFrowns 4y ago
I like your theory and it puts into words this nagging feeling about gift-giving (material or immaterial) which I had for years. I love making gifts to people, without expecting anything in return, but still wondered why it sometimes seemed to drive people away. That's why the "Law of Reciprocity"[0][1] never sat right with me while I experienced more personal anecdotal evidence for the reverse phenomenon [2]. [0]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reciprocity_(social_psychology) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reciprocity_(social_psychology... [1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Cialdini https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Cialdini [2]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect
bayindirh 4y ago
This is a very simplistic and very narrow perspective about gifting when looked from this side. I don't consider gifts as the items solely. The person who brought the gift spent some time pondering what would I like, gave his/her best shot. Spent time and funds to acquire this and gave it to me. Yes, it might not be the exact item I'd get; yes, it might not be crazy expensive (or just flat out cheap and simple). But it's a small anchor which makes me remember the person who gave me the gift and the occasion. The thoughtfulness and kindness what makes a gift, a gift. That gift is priceless for me from now on. It can be a mug, it can be a pin, it can be a watch, or anything. Putting everything on a material perspective is just not very kind, and is a great disservice to the person who bought the gift.
- jerlam 4y ago
  Yes, this is a very utilitarian and pessimistic view of gift giving, and probably not great for me to have. I've been shaped by years of required and thoughtless gift giving. Items of low value, carefully selected, actually work really well for gifts! I think the process of curation can dramatically increase their perceived value, compared to a "serious" gift. But at some point, you just have too much stuff of all kinds, and you have to start getting rid of it.
  - lupire 4y ago
    That advice is for the old materialistic pre-climate-change/infinite-renr world.
- jasode 4y ago
  >The thoughtfulness and kindness what makes a gift, a gift. That gift is priceless for me from now on. It can be a mug, it can be a pin, it can be a watch, or anything. Have a 75-year old friend that thought exactly like this and because of it, her house ended up being cluttered with tons of cat trinkets that she didn't want because her coworkers happen to find out "she likes cats". So she had cat figurines, cat pot holders, cat pins, cat stuffed toys, cat Christmas ornaments, etc. Decades of accumulated stuff like that. The items were things she didn't enjoy and would never buy herself but she hung on to them because of the cultural meme of "it's the thought that counts!" being beat into her head. She's not an assertive person so it wasn't in her personality to tell people to "stop getting me cat things" -- so she just smiled and thanked them. And because she felt "obligated" to the thoughtfulness and memory of the giver, she felt compelled to keep everything and constantly relocate them to the next house when she had to move. She didn't know what to do with all of it and it didn't feel right to her to throw it all away. I finally convinced her to just put all the accumulated gifts on Craigslist as a "free giveaway". This was the psychological breakthrough she needed because she knew whoever would come get them would actually want the items. She finally was able to de-clutter her house. I was only able to give her that advice because 99% of the gifts I received just created clutter in my house and my brain. >, and is a great disservice to the person who bought the gift. As counterpoint, buying a gift can be a disservice to the recipient as you've now added a destructive mental loop in their brain that has to figure out how to reconcile the giver's generosity with an unwanted item. The above situation makes me wonder if society needs a total re-think of gifting etiquette where only very close family relations exchange gifts such as husbands/wives and parents/children. For lesser relations like coworkers, the counterintuitive thinking that can make life better: not buying a gift is "the gift of not forcing the recipients to expend mental energy about that unwanted item later in life". My friend did enjoy giftcards from Starbucks. She likes coffee and it didn't clutter up the house. The problem with gift cards is that many think it's too vulgar (or "low effort") because it's a thin veneer over cash. Understandable. But that's also why she keeps getting "real gifts" she doesn't want.
exitb 4y ago
Gifts are primarily an expression of care.
fma 4y ago
It's why I prefer to give hard cold cash. Not even gift cards...cash. And definitely not those stupid Visa gift cards where you pay a activation fee and occasionally get scammed. I'm also from an Asian background where cash is more acceptable. I feel any other form of gifting is a ruse to increase consumerism, i.e. the popularity of gift registries, the perception that one isnt thoughtful if you dont yet a good gift etc.
- thefounder 4y ago
  >> give hard cold cash Best gift ever and good for the environment.
- kwhitefoot 4y ago
  For all the people I might consider giving a gift to the amount of cash I would have to give for it to be meaningful would be huge. And that size would make it embarrassing. Much better to make the act part of the gift. As someone said elsewhere on this topic low value curated gifts are often very highly appreciated.
- lupire 4y ago
  A gift registry is the one thing better than cash, because it skips an extra transactional step for a purchase that was going to happen anyway.
faangiq 4y ago
It’s a decent theory but clearly wrong. Assumes perfect information among other things.
alexvoda 4y ago
While your first and second paragraph may generally be true the opposite can also be true. I do prefer receiving gifts when those gifts are informed. Which is why asking about desired gifts is perfectly fine. There are certain classes of things that I do not consider necessary yet I would desire and for which the variety available results in paralysis of choice. For these, having the giver choose, and having the thing have additional sentimental value (it is from the giver) makes it more valuable than the thing itself.
Al-Khwarizmi 4y ago
For me, some of the best gifts are those things that I like, but I wouldn't buy myself because I find them too capricious, too shallow, too unnecessary, etc. to justify the cost. In your words, suboptimal. Gifts are an emotional thing so it's no wonder that they don't make much sense from a purely rational perspective, as (at least most of the time) that's not the point of gifting.
bryanrasmussen 4y ago
You should consider the communicative value of gifts, a communicative gift is one where someone likes something and believes that the receiver will also like it, this is not just I like TinTin comics so I will give the big book of TinTin to receiver because how could someone not love TinTin? I love TinTin so he's great! A communicative gift is I know they won't like TinTin the way I do but given that they are a lesbian that wants to read lesbian focused literature maybe give them the Locas: Maggie and Hopey stories and they will get that you considered them in choosing what to get, but also to introduce something to them that you like that you value and that you hope they will value as well.
- n4r9 4y ago
  That's similar to how I see it. My niece recently turned 16 and in a recent conversation I discovered she's into fantasy but hasn't heard of the Discworld novels. I looked up which book is commonly considered the best intro to the series (Small Gods) and bought her that. It might spark a real interest, or it might turn out that Discworld is too dated and unappealing to teenagers these days, but that bit of thought makes the odds better than random.
  - devilbunny 4y ago
    > Small Gods You chose well.
lostlogin 4y ago
> Not just employee gifts, but nearly all gifts are valued less by the receiver than the giver. You need to try giving someone honey from a beehive you maintain. People seem to love it and come back for more. I have hundreds of kilos spare.
- roel_v 4y ago
  So do I (well, from my father's bees, that is...). But it illustrates exactly what the OP is talking about - this honey comes at low cost or free to us, but for the receiver it represents a much higher value. (prices around here for local, pure honey are 7 or 8 euros per 450 grams / about a pound). My kids sell my parents' honey for 5 euros and people are grateful for those low prices even, and treat it like we're doing them a favor.
  - lostlogin 4y ago
    I should have paid more attention, you are correct and it does illustrate their point.
  - piva00 4y ago
    I gift people some sourdough bread I make. The price of a loaf of bread is ridiculously cheap, much cheaper than my time would cost if I factored it in and my breads aren't perfectly baked every single time like a bakery with professionals can do. Still, people appreciate it a lot, much more than if I purchased a better-looking loaf of bread from a professional baker for 2-3€. I don't think it's necessarily tied to the value it represents to the receiver, it's the act of kindness with the unexpectedness of a gift that gives it value.
    - lukego 4y ago
      I used to do this but reciprocality meant that everyone started giving me back baked goods in return, usually really sweet stuff that I don't want in my diet. I enjoy baking sourdough loaves to return favors though e.g. if s neighbour takes care of my lawn while I'm away. That's fun and keeps the books balanced.
nindalf 4y ago
Your grand theory isn't new. The 1993 paper The Deadweight Loss of Chrismtas (https://www.amherst.edu/media/view/104699/original/christmas.pdf https://www.amherst.edu/media/view/104699/original/christmas...) explores this in detail. The basic idea is let's measure what the gift cost and what the receiver valued it at. But not everything that matters can be measured and not everything that is measured, matters. The study should have accounted for the strength of relationship between the gifter and gifted and how it was affected by the gift. It should have measured social status of the gifter before and after. These deepened bonds and increased social status could pay off later in the year. The 2001 paper Poverty and public celebrations in rural India (https://ideas.repec.org/p/wbk/wbrwps/2528.html https://ideas.repec.org/p/wbk/wbrwps/2528.html) examines that idea and finds it to be true. When you're looking at an institution that has developed independently thousands of times across human history in wildly disparate cultures, you need to ask yourself what benefit it brings before dismissing it. This comment reminds me of the teenage atheists who think religion is worthless because it's a bunch of made up stuff they don't believe is true. Regardless of what they believe, religion has independently developed and flourished in a number of cultures. Religions that involve regular congregations bring benefits to their members, such as living longer, happier lives.
- Gordonjcp 4y ago
  > Religion brings benefits to it's members, such as living longer, happier lives. [citation needed]
  - nindalf 4y ago
    Ask and ye shall receive. Association of Religious Service Attendance With Mortality Among Women (2016) - https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/2521827 https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullar.... > Women who went to any kind of religious service more than once a week had a 33% lower chance than their secular peers of dying during the 16-year study-follow-up period.
    - lupire 4y ago
pheasantquiff 4y ago
Long, interesting and thoughtful comment chain created by posting an, effectively, empty link on HN. (reached the first page too!)
mcv 4y ago
At my first job, the boss/owner of the company knew a lot about wine. As a result, the Christmas gift basket contained a lot of excellent wines that I wouldn't have been able to pick out myself. But I guess that's an example of expertise. And of course it's not much use to someone who doesn't like wine (they may have had a non-alcoholic alternative).
- lupire 4y ago
  "excellent wines" or a great example of a wasteful gift because excellent wines aren't substantially better than OK wines, unless you are a wine enthusiast (not just a wine drinker). It's like giving out RTX 3080s en masse. Most people won't get the value of what you spent.
  - mcv 4y ago
    And excellent wine can be a lot better than an OK wine for a similar cost. I think it's a perfect example where some expertise can dramatically increase the value. For wine drinkers, at least.
    - devilbunny 4y ago
      The great thing about wine as a gift is that it doesn't go bad quickly. Even if you don't drink it, you can re-gift it to someone who will appreciate it.
seb1204 4y ago
I agree with this. I have started the following a number of times. I would really appreciate if I get gifted something most of people find mundane e.g. socks. Unless I need special socks for something specific I really care very little. So if someone uses his time to save me from doing quality sock shopping I value this a lot and would be happy about the gift. I don't like cheap and wear once socks though.
- josh_fyi 4y ago
  My feet are very large (available only at specialty retailers), so a sock gift risks being useless.
toolslive 4y ago
> nearly all gifts are valued less by the receiver than the giver exception: sexual favours ?
P5fRxh5kUvp2th 4y ago
^ this is what it looks like when robots attempt to analyze human behavior.
MaxMatti 4y ago
I always see gifts as recommendations. You don't need to have expertise to know about something that is more valuable than expected and that the person would not have bought for themselves. And the best gifts that I (or others around me) have received are things that turned out better than expected.
ilyt 4y ago
Kinda why I hate getting gifts, I'd genuinely prefer for giver to just take me for a beer or something, I prefer company to them basically wasting time working to earn money to give me something I might or might not like. On other side picking what to give is endless source of anxiety to me.
bitcurious 4y ago
The gift is the very fact that it’s non optimal. I wouldn’t spend $500 on a coffee grinder. That’s the gift. Otherwise I’d already have that coffee grinder. It’s only a “net negative” if the receiver of the gift can’t afford their necessities. The same is true when there is information asymmetry. I wouldn’t spend $10 on this specific candy from Japan, because I didn’t know it existed. It’s “non optimal” and again that’s the gift. I get to try a new candy I’ve never heard of.

by jerlam 4y ago

imartin2k 4y ago

Yep in most cases and to different degrees in different cultures and contexts, gifting seems to be a procedure that primarily is about the giver and their needs, rather than about the receiver - while claiming the opposite.

m463 4y ago

That's what makes it easy to know what gift to give a kid - they will tell you.

Al-Khwarizmi 4y ago
If I always gifted my son what he asks, he would have nothing but cars and other vehicles. He wouldn't have discovered many other kinds of toys that he loves (as well as some that he doesn't, of course... one can't have a 100% success rate). Gifting can be a good way to expose people to new things that they might like, and this is even more so in the case of kids, as they ask from a much more restricted set of known things than adults.

GameOfFrowns 4y ago

I like your theory and it puts into words this nagging feeling about gift-giving (material or immaterial) which I had for years. I love making gifts to people, without expecting anything in return, but still wondered why it sometimes seemed to drive people away. That's why the "Law of Reciprocity"[0][1] never sat right with me while I experienced more personal anecdotal evidence for the reverse phenomenon [2]. [0]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reciprocity_(social_psychology) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reciprocity_(social_psychology... [1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Cialdini https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Cialdini [2]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect

bayindirh 4y ago

This is a very simplistic and very narrow perspective about gifting when looked from this side. I don't consider gifts as the items solely. The person who brought the gift spent some time pondering what would I like, gave his/her best shot. Spent time and funds to acquire this and gave it to me. Yes, it might not be the exact item I'd get; yes, it might not be crazy expensive (or just flat out cheap and simple). But it's a small anchor which makes me remember the person who gave me the gift and the occasion. The thoughtfulness and kindness what makes a gift, a gift. That gift is priceless for me from now on. It can be a mug, it can be a pin, it can be a watch, or anything. Putting everything on a material perspective is just not very kind, and is a great disservice to the person who bought the gift.

jerlam 4y ago
Yes, this is a very utilitarian and pessimistic view of gift giving, and probably not great for me to have. I've been shaped by years of required and thoughtless gift giving. Items of low value, carefully selected, actually work really well for gifts! I think the process of curation can dramatically increase their perceived value, compared to a "serious" gift. But at some point, you just have too much stuff of all kinds, and you have to start getting rid of it.
- lupire 4y ago
  That advice is for the old materialistic pre-climate-change/infinite-renr world.
jasode 4y ago
>The thoughtfulness and kindness what makes a gift, a gift. That gift is priceless for me from now on. It can be a mug, it can be a pin, it can be a watch, or anything. Have a 75-year old friend that thought exactly like this and because of it, her house ended up being cluttered with tons of cat trinkets that she didn't want because her coworkers happen to find out "she likes cats". So she had cat figurines, cat pot holders, cat pins, cat stuffed toys, cat Christmas ornaments, etc. Decades of accumulated stuff like that. The items were things she didn't enjoy and would never buy herself but she hung on to them because of the cultural meme of "it's the thought that counts!" being beat into her head. She's not an assertive person so it wasn't in her personality to tell people to "stop getting me cat things" -- so she just smiled and thanked them. And because she felt "obligated" to the thoughtfulness and memory of the giver, she felt compelled to keep everything and constantly relocate them to the next house when she had to move. She didn't know what to do with all of it and it didn't feel right to her to throw it all away. I finally convinced her to just put all the accumulated gifts on Craigslist as a "free giveaway". This was the psychological breakthrough she needed because she knew whoever would come get them would actually want the items. She finally was able to de-clutter her house. I was only able to give her that advice because 99% of the gifts I received just created clutter in my house and my brain. >, and is a great disservice to the person who bought the gift. As counterpoint, buying a gift can be a disservice to the recipient as you've now added a destructive mental loop in their brain that has to figure out how to reconcile the giver's generosity with an unwanted item. The above situation makes me wonder if society needs a total re-think of gifting etiquette where only very close family relations exchange gifts such as husbands/wives and parents/children. For lesser relations like coworkers, the counterintuitive thinking that can make life better: not buying a gift is "the gift of not forcing the recipients to expend mental energy about that unwanted item later in life". My friend did enjoy giftcards from Starbucks. She likes coffee and it didn't clutter up the house. The problem with gift cards is that many think it's too vulgar (or "low effort") because it's a thin veneer over cash. Understandable. But that's also why she keeps getting "real gifts" she doesn't want.

exitb 4y ago

Gifts are primarily an expression of care.

fma 4y ago

It's why I prefer to give hard cold cash. Not even gift cards...cash. And definitely not those stupid Visa gift cards where you pay a activation fee and occasionally get scammed. I'm also from an Asian background where cash is more acceptable. I feel any other form of gifting is a ruse to increase consumerism, i.e. the popularity of gift registries, the perception that one isnt thoughtful if you dont yet a good gift etc.

thefounder 4y ago
>> give hard cold cash Best gift ever and good for the environment.
kwhitefoot 4y ago
For all the people I might consider giving a gift to the amount of cash I would have to give for it to be meaningful would be huge. And that size would make it embarrassing. Much better to make the act part of the gift. As someone said elsewhere on this topic low value curated gifts are often very highly appreciated.
lupire 4y ago
A gift registry is the one thing better than cash, because it skips an extra transactional step for a purchase that was going to happen anyway.

faangiq 4y ago

It’s a decent theory but clearly wrong. Assumes perfect information among other things.

alexvoda 4y ago

While your first and second paragraph may generally be true the opposite can also be true. I do prefer receiving gifts when those gifts are informed. Which is why asking about desired gifts is perfectly fine. There are certain classes of things that I do not consider necessary yet I would desire and for which the variety available results in paralysis of choice. For these, having the giver choose, and having the thing have additional sentimental value (it is from the giver) makes it more valuable than the thing itself.

Al-Khwarizmi 4y ago

For me, some of the best gifts are those things that I like, but I wouldn't buy myself because I find them too capricious, too shallow, too unnecessary, etc. to justify the cost. In your words, suboptimal. Gifts are an emotional thing so it's no wonder that they don't make much sense from a purely rational perspective, as (at least most of the time) that's not the point of gifting.

bryanrasmussen 4y ago

You should consider the communicative value of gifts, a communicative gift is one where someone likes something and believes that the receiver will also like it, this is not just I like TinTin comics so I will give the big book of TinTin to receiver because how could someone not love TinTin? I love TinTin so he's great! A communicative gift is I know they won't like TinTin the way I do but given that they are a lesbian that wants to read lesbian focused literature maybe give them the Locas: Maggie and Hopey stories and they will get that you considered them in choosing what to get, but also to introduce something to them that you like that you value and that you hope they will value as well.

n4r9 4y ago
That's similar to how I see it. My niece recently turned 16 and in a recent conversation I discovered she's into fantasy but hasn't heard of the Discworld novels. I looked up which book is commonly considered the best intro to the series (Small Gods) and bought her that. It might spark a real interest, or it might turn out that Discworld is too dated and unappealing to teenagers these days, but that bit of thought makes the odds better than random.
- devilbunny 4y ago
  > Small Gods You chose well.

lostlogin 4y ago

> Not just employee gifts, but nearly all gifts are valued less by the receiver than the giver. You need to try giving someone honey from a beehive you maintain. People seem to love it and come back for more. I have hundreds of kilos spare.

roel_v 4y ago
So do I (well, from my father's bees, that is...). But it illustrates exactly what the OP is talking about - this honey comes at low cost or free to us, but for the receiver it represents a much higher value. (prices around here for local, pure honey are 7 or 8 euros per 450 grams / about a pound). My kids sell my parents' honey for 5 euros and people are grateful for those low prices even, and treat it like we're doing them a favor.
- lostlogin 4y ago
  I should have paid more attention, you are correct and it does illustrate their point.
- piva00 4y ago
  I gift people some sourdough bread I make. The price of a loaf of bread is ridiculously cheap, much cheaper than my time would cost if I factored it in and my breads aren't perfectly baked every single time like a bakery with professionals can do. Still, people appreciate it a lot, much more than if I purchased a better-looking loaf of bread from a professional baker for 2-3€. I don't think it's necessarily tied to the value it represents to the receiver, it's the act of kindness with the unexpectedness of a gift that gives it value.
  - lukego 4y ago
    I used to do this but reciprocality meant that everyone started giving me back baked goods in return, usually really sweet stuff that I don't want in my diet. I enjoy baking sourdough loaves to return favors though e.g. if s neighbour takes care of my lawn while I'm away. That's fun and keeps the books balanced.

nindalf 4y ago

Your grand theory isn't new. The 1993 paper The Deadweight Loss of Chrismtas (https://www.amherst.edu/media/view/104699/original/christmas.pdf https://www.amherst.edu/media/view/104699/original/christmas...) explores this in detail. The basic idea is let's measure what the gift cost and what the receiver valued it at. But not everything that matters can be measured and not everything that is measured, matters. The study should have accounted for the strength of relationship between the gifter and gifted and how it was affected by the gift. It should have measured social status of the gifter before and after. These deepened bonds and increased social status could pay off later in the year. The 2001 paper Poverty and public celebrations in rural India (https://ideas.repec.org/p/wbk/wbrwps/2528.html https://ideas.repec.org/p/wbk/wbrwps/2528.html) examines that idea and finds it to be true. When you're looking at an institution that has developed independently thousands of times across human history in wildly disparate cultures, you need to ask yourself what benefit it brings before dismissing it. This comment reminds me of the teenage atheists who think religion is worthless because it's a bunch of made up stuff they don't believe is true. Regardless of what they believe, religion has independently developed and flourished in a number of cultures. Religions that involve regular congregations bring benefits to their members, such as living longer, happier lives.

Gordonjcp 4y ago
> Religion brings benefits to it's members, such as living longer, happier lives. [citation needed]
- nindalf 4y ago
  Ask and ye shall receive. Association of Religious Service Attendance With Mortality Among Women (2016) - https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/2521827 https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullar.... > Women who went to any kind of religious service more than once a week had a 33% lower chance than their secular peers of dying during the 16-year study-follow-up period.
  - lupire 4y ago

pheasantquiff 4y ago

Long, interesting and thoughtful comment chain created by posting an, effectively, empty link on HN. (reached the first page too!)

mcv 4y ago

At my first job, the boss/owner of the company knew a lot about wine. As a result, the Christmas gift basket contained a lot of excellent wines that I wouldn't have been able to pick out myself. But I guess that's an example of expertise. And of course it's not much use to someone who doesn't like wine (they may have had a non-alcoholic alternative).

lupire 4y ago
"excellent wines" or a great example of a wasteful gift because excellent wines aren't substantially better than OK wines, unless you are a wine enthusiast (not just a wine drinker). It's like giving out RTX 3080s en masse. Most people won't get the value of what you spent.
- mcv 4y ago
  And excellent wine can be a lot better than an OK wine for a similar cost. I think it's a perfect example where some expertise can dramatically increase the value. For wine drinkers, at least.
  - devilbunny 4y ago
    The great thing about wine as a gift is that it doesn't go bad quickly. Even if you don't drink it, you can re-gift it to someone who will appreciate it.

seb1204 4y ago

I agree with this. I have started the following a number of times. I would really appreciate if I get gifted something most of people find mundane e.g. socks. Unless I need special socks for something specific I really care very little. So if someone uses his time to save me from doing quality sock shopping I value this a lot and would be happy about the gift. I don't like cheap and wear once socks though.

josh_fyi 4y ago
My feet are very large (available only at specialty retailers), so a sock gift risks being useless.

toolslive 4y ago

> nearly all gifts are valued less by the receiver than the giver exception: sexual favours ?

P5fRxh5kUvp2th 4y ago

^ this is what it looks like when robots attempt to analyze human behavior.

MaxMatti 4y ago

I always see gifts as recommendations. You don't need to have expertise to know about something that is more valuable than expected and that the person would not have bought for themselves. And the best gifts that I (or others around me) have received are things that turned out better than expected.

ilyt 4y ago

Kinda why I hate getting gifts, I'd genuinely prefer for giver to just take me for a beer or something, I prefer company to them basically wasting time working to earn money to give me something I might or might not like. On other side picking what to give is endless source of anxiety to me.

bitcurious 4y ago

The gift is the very fact that it’s non optimal. I wouldn’t spend $500 on a coffee grinder. That’s the gift. Otherwise I’d already have that coffee grinder. It’s only a “net negative” if the receiver of the gift can’t afford their necessities. The same is true when there is information asymmetry. I wouldn’t spend $10 on this specific candy from Japan, because I didn’t know it existed. It’s “non optimal” and again that’s the gift. I get to try a new candy I’ve never heard of.