Dang, that hits a little close. I play enough music that I suspect there is some kind of underlying pathology. Like, I am usually in 3-4 bands, have performed

Dang, that hits a little close. I play enough music that I suspect there is some kind of underlying pathology. Like, I am usually in 3-4 bands, have performed on 10+ instruments on stage this year. I spent 3 hours today playing clarinet waiting for google billing support, and another hour or so on trumpet this morning. And in a bit, I will be getting on the pedal steel for an evening scale pickin session. I just started the clarinet again and it has been really weird. It was my instrument all through high school. My parents were super proud that they had been able to score a super inexpensive Bundy, which was 30 years old when I got it, and which had never really been maintained. In retrospect, I realize low B key didn't seat well, so it always squeaked going over the break. I've repadded a clarinet, and that very much feels like an easy fix to me-- I have no explanations about why it remained a problem for my middle and high-school years. There are reasons why that purchase of a cheap horn for your child might be a nice thing, if you lacked money or experience. But my parents were professional school administrators who met in music school. My dad was a high school band director for a while and my mother studied flute in the university. Having had my own children, that action has curious what analogous damage I've done to them via similar mechanisms. That's not a big harm (certainly not abuse, as was the case in the OP's story), but until about a month ago when I bought myself a clarinet I hadn't realized how much resentment I was carrying from that time. Playing that horn was deeply frustrating, and with all the things I know about music at this point I cannot imagine trying to get children to learn on badly functioning instruments-- there are just so many other impediments to their learning that it takes a difficult task and might make it impossible. However, it's been quite soothing to realize that I am an adult who can take care of myself, and to simply fill needs as they come up. So I bought myself a reasonable student horn (a Buffet e12, and I did get a good deal on it, I think) and I've been playing tunes from the real books. The amount of catharsis I've gotten from simply filling something that was once an unrecognized long-term need driven by frustration has been a bit worrisome, but it's probably healthy in some sense.