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> Do people really live like that? A good way to answer this question is to ask the women in your life. It never fails to surprise me the number and variety of

by vf10a 4y ago

> Do people really live like that? A good way to answer this question is to ask the women in your life. It never fails to surprise me the number and variety of stories every one of my female friends/family/co-workers have. Just last week one of my friends was telling a story about a guy in a car slowly following and harassing her on her way home. That kicked off a round of 'being scared by guys in cars' stories from others at the table. I somewhat understand the 'not all guys' sentiment because this behaviour also feels very alien to me. I think it is worth taking the time to understand that it definitely is 'a not insignificant number of guys' though

mellosouls 4y ago
Yes, this is true and a sad fact of life - but let us not forget the majority of stranger-assault victims are men and - generally speaking - these (righteous) discussions about individual safety are rarely extended to them.
- pessimizer 4y ago
  It's more important to remember that the perpetrators are almost all men, whether the violence is from a stranger or someone well known, or whether the victims are male, female, or even one's self - suicide is far higher and more effective among men.
  - mellosouls 4y ago
    I don't see how that is more important to remember in the context of victims being discussed here. Male representation is not even acknowledged as an issue.
pessimizer 4y ago
I've started to think of the "True Crime" genre as "Male Horror." Most of its audience is female, and the stories are largely about normal women who walk into normal situations and end up tortured, raped, and murdered; extra points if it was by a man no one would suspect. There's also Male Horror directed at an audience of men, but it's usually disguised as a prison story, or even more directly class-coded like Deliverance. There's just this male sort of terror where a man doesn't want to hurt you for any practical reason, they're not trying to steal from you or stop you, they're doing it simply because physically torturing you directly arouses them. Men only feel that terror and that fear in prison, boarding school, the military, sports teams, surrounded by ethnic minorities or ethnic majorities, etc., whereas women simply need to evaluate every place that they enter that also contains a man, even if they know that man very well.

by vf10a 4y ago

mellosouls 4y ago

Yes, this is true and a sad fact of life - but let us not forget the majority of stranger-assault victims are men and - generally speaking - these (righteous) discussions about individual safety are rarely extended to them.

pessimizer 4y ago
It's more important to remember that the perpetrators are almost all men, whether the violence is from a stranger or someone well known, or whether the victims are male, female, or even one's self - suicide is far higher and more effective among men.
- mellosouls 4y ago
  I don't see how that is more important to remember in the context of victims being discussed here. Male representation is not even acknowledged as an issue.

pessimizer 4y ago

I've started to think of the "True Crime" genre as "Male Horror." Most of its audience is female, and the stories are largely about normal women who walk into normal situations and end up tortured, raped, and murdered; extra points if it was by a man no one would suspect. There's also Male Horror directed at an audience of men, but it's usually disguised as a prison story, or even more directly class-coded like Deliverance. There's just this male sort of terror where a man doesn't want to hurt you for any practical reason, they're not trying to steal from you or stop you, they're doing it simply because physically torturing you directly arouses them. Men only feel that terror and that fear in prison, boarding school, the military, sports teams, surrounded by ethnic minorities or ethnic majorities, etc., whereas women simply need to evaluate every place that they enter that also contains a man, even if they know that man very well.