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Parenthood is very much a roll of the dice. It’s a game of chance, and you get what you get. I’m always a bit amused by people who aren’t parents yet who are c

by pevey 4y ago

Parenthood is very much a roll of the dice. It’s a game of chance, and you get what you get. I’m always a bit amused by people who aren’t parents yet who are considering adoption and are very set on a baby as opposed to an older child. Most of their reasoning boils down to the idea that babies are more malleable. As a parent, I do not believe that is the case. They are born as they are, and you can only help them along the path of being true to themselves or trying to be something else. And we can try to help them make good choices. That is it. We don’t get to change who they are.

jdironman 4y ago
It is a game of chance for the "base" you have to work with. as a parent, you want the best for your child, no matter what. "Helping" them along implies malleablity whether we like to accept that or not. I don't say this to mean one should always be 100% in control of their child or their decisions. Some lessons are best learned by mistakes. I say this to get the point across that you are a parent and as a parent we have a role to play on our children's lives. which is largely centered around 'survivability '. The terms that make that factor up seem to always be changing.
svnt 4y ago
You can’t change who they are but you can sure miscalibrate a kid aged 0-6 by denying them healthy developmental experiences. Once that calibration window closes it is difficult if not impossible for most people to ever address the issues.
- rowanG077 4y ago
  This is incredibly misleading. Your childs personality is not set in stone after 6. Don't wager yourself safe because you have done your best until 6.
  - svnt 4y ago
    That’s not what I said at all. There is a uniquely critical developmental period before six but you can absolutely mess them up after that too.
wyclif 4y ago
Marriage is a roll of the dice, too. Parenthood is the second roll of the dice. So far it's worked out for me. But as I've gotten older, I've seen too many friends tick all the right boxes and do all the right things but they wound up rolling snake eyes.

by pevey 4y ago

jdironman 4y ago

It is a game of chance for the "base" you have to work with. as a parent, you want the best for your child, no matter what. "Helping" them along implies malleablity whether we like to accept that or not. I don't say this to mean one should always be 100% in control of their child or their decisions. Some lessons are best learned by mistakes. I say this to get the point across that you are a parent and as a parent we have a role to play on our children's lives. which is largely centered around 'survivability '. The terms that make that factor up seem to always be changing.

svnt 4y ago

You can’t change who they are but you can sure miscalibrate a kid aged 0-6 by denying them healthy developmental experiences. Once that calibration window closes it is difficult if not impossible for most people to ever address the issues.

rowanG077 4y ago
This is incredibly misleading. Your childs personality is not set in stone after 6. Don't wager yourself safe because you have done your best until 6.
- svnt 4y ago
  That’s not what I said at all. There is a uniquely critical developmental period before six but you can absolutely mess them up after that too.

wyclif 4y ago

Marriage is a roll of the dice, too. Parenthood is the second roll of the dice. So far it's worked out for me. But as I've gotten older, I've seen too many friends tick all the right boxes and do all the right things but they wound up rolling snake eyes.