6 ms·

That is a very thoughtful reply pxc, thank you. Perhaps I am wrong but reading your reply I got the impression you thought I was talking about my son in my ori

That is a very thoughtful reply pxc, thank you. Perhaps I am wrong but reading your reply I got the impression you thought I was talking about my son in my original reply? I just wanted to clarify that is not the case, I was talking about an adult family member not my son :) As for my son it is quite clear he has ADHD and I indeed support him in every way I can. Currently that is not via medication however not because I object to it but because he only has one kidney and all of the doctors we have seen agree that we should try to avoid medication for now. Especially as he does not present hyperactivity. I am sure it is something he will try when older but for now we are trying to help develop tools (both mental and physical) to provide a supportive environment for him and it seems to be working quite well. Regarding you point on anxiety and ADHD, this is very relevant to my son as he has developed some anxiety over the past few years (moving to a country where he had to learn a new language and of course the pandemic). We certainly notice[d] an increase with inattention when he is anxious. For example when my wife had to travel for work recently his anxiety was much higher. As you mentioned I ensure I do not use dismissive terms when he talks to me about how he is feeling. We have built a good, open way of communicating so when he feels anxious or overwhelmed he knows he can talk to us without issue. I have to admit I have huge anxieties of my own as to whether I am doing a good job in supporting him but I am trying to do everything I can. Again I appreciate you taking the time to share your experience and knowledge.

pxc 4y ago
Oh yes, looks like I mixed up two people you were talking about. Sorry for that! I'm glad that some of what I had to say was still helpful. > As for my son it is quite clear he has ADHD and I indeed support him in every way I can. Currently that is not via medication however not because I object to it but because he only has one kidney[.] [...] [F]or now we are trying to help develop tools (both mental and physical) to provide a supportive environment for him and it seems to be working quite well. FWIW I think the non-medical tools are the harder things to get going and the more essential. And because stimulant medication's efficacy is affected a lot by how structured the environment is, it tends to be a less decisive tool in college and in professional life than it is in elementary school or high school. So if you're having success and seeing progress without meds, I think that's likely to continue and to help make sure he has the right habits to make the meds actually effective for him in adulthood if that's what he needs. > I have to admit I have huge anxieties of my own as to whether I am doing a good job in supporting him but I am trying to do everything I can. To me you sound thoughtful, flexible, and caring in your approach to understanding and supporting your son. I think that is sure to make a huge, positive difference, no matter what.

pxc 4y ago

Oh yes, looks like I mixed up two people you were talking about. Sorry for that! I'm glad that some of what I had to say was still helpful. > As for my son it is quite clear he has ADHD and I indeed support him in every way I can. Currently that is not via medication however not because I object to it but because he only has one kidney[.] [...] [F]or now we are trying to help develop tools (both mental and physical) to provide a supportive environment for him and it seems to be working quite well. FWIW I think the non-medical tools are the harder things to get going and the more essential. And because stimulant medication's efficacy is affected a lot by how structured the environment is, it tends to be a less decisive tool in college and in professional life than it is in elementary school or high school. So if you're having success and seeing progress without meds, I think that's likely to continue and to help make sure he has the right habits to make the meds actually effective for him in adulthood if that's what he needs. > I have to admit I have huge anxieties of my own as to whether I am doing a good job in supporting him but I am trying to do everything I can. To me you sound thoughtful, flexible, and caring in your approach to understanding and supporting your son. I think that is sure to make a huge, positive difference, no matter what.