I'm no philosopher but my understanding is the stoics didn't simply choose not to care, they were selective about what they cared about. When someone insults y

I'm no philosopher but my understanding is the stoics didn't simply choose not to care, they were selective about what they cared about. When someone insults you are they responsible for how much you value their opinion? Are they responsible for how much you want to be accepted? Are they responsible for how many rejections you have had in the past?