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The American writer Calvin Trillin wrote a short story called “A Christmas Shopping Tale” about how this kind of gift-giving might not always be welcome. It app

The American writer Calvin Trillin wrote a short story called “A Christmas Shopping Tale” about how this kind of gift-giving might not always be welcome. It appears in his book Too Soon to Tell (1995). Excerpts: “There was once a man named Arthur Robinson who was, as they say, very hard to shop for. He was a nice man, but as the Christmas shopping season began every year, his family and close friends and business associates grew to resent him. Arthur Robinson had no hobbies. He did not grill chicken in the backyard or bake bread, so the problem of what to give him for Christmas could not be solved with a new piece of kitchen equipment or an apron with witty sayings on it. ... Then in October one year, Arthur Robinson made his first business trip to Africa. Having found himself about to return home with some local currency that was notoriously difficult to change in the United States, he plunked it down at the airport gift shop for the first items that caught his eye—two small statues of elephants. ... That Christmas, all of his children gave him elephant statues for Christmas. He couldn’t imagine why, until he realized that he had put the elephants from Africa on a table in his study. ... The year after that, he received nine elephant statues. A lot of the cards said, in addition to Merry Christmas, ‘For your collection.’ Arthur Robinson didn’t think he had a collection of elephant statues. ... Arthur Robinson continued to thank everyone for the elephant statues—twenty-three by the fourth Christmas following that business trip to Africa. His family and friends had been greatly pleased to find something to get him for Christmas. ‘At least Arthur’s no problem,’ they’d say as they went down their lists. ‘Good old Arthur and his dreadful little elephants.’ Which meant that when they ran into Arthur during Christmas shopping season, they no longer seemed put out with him. They gave him a cheerful hello. He was always polite, but he resented them deeply.”

noduerme 4y ago
I think this is untrue in a couple of ways. Firstly, people like being considered easy to buy for and don't resent it. Secondly, people grow into whatever they end up with a collection of. Thirdly, Americans don't use the word "dreadful".
- fsckboy 4y ago
  people who write for The New Yorker definitely do use the word dreadful. I am impossible to buy for and I'm happy that way; I just tell people they don't need to get me anything.
  - noduerme 4y ago
    See, just from that statement I would know exactly what snarky coffee mugs to buy you.
    - fsckboy 4y ago
      you brought a smile to my face, I do love a nice snarky coffee mug. But could you buy me a set of them, when reaching I don't like choosing between mismatches wrt dimensions, and not large, medium or smaller? also, presenting a thin walled rim where it touches my lip
  - throwaway98797 4y ago
    we wouldn’t want to be so gauche to say it tho
- andrewflnr 4y ago
  > people like being considered easy to buy for and don't resent it. Not the question. The resentment comes from being expected to pretend you appreciate "gifts" that are nothing but chaff in the gears of your life. Ask me how I know (actually don't, you can guess, right?). > people grow into whatever they end up with a collection of What? No. I don't know about you or the people you've been hanging around with, but some of us have actual tastes of our own. The phenomenon of people being deluged in variations of the same thoughtless personal-meme-gift is well-attested. I'm not aware of any cases where the recipient actually changed their personality to fit, and I would further claim that it's unhealthy to try. Honestly, what are you trying to do here? Whatever it is, stop.
  - noduerme 4y ago
    Oh seriously, if someone buys you a gift you don't want, appreciate the gesture and throw it away if it's "meaningless chaff". Or if you like it, adopt it. Like I adopted the llama cufflinks I got from my girlfriend for no discernable reason. But for God's sake stop bitching about how people buying you shit you don't need is the horrible burden of capitalism. Go live in a van with 6 pairs of underwear like I did for 10 years and you may lay a tiny claim to not wanting "stuff" because it weighs you down a little. But first see if you can discern from the heights of your high horse whether most gifts aren't given in earnest. Only a spoiled child gets angry about getting gifts they didn't want. >> Honestly, what are you trying to do here? Whatever it is, stop. "Do"? "stop"? Under whose authority and why? I was making a comment. If you think I'm trying to demolish some moral position you hold, go ahead and explain why... but "honestly"+"whatever"+"stop" doesn't tell me what you're actually objecting to.
    - andrewflnr 4y ago
      You're projecting a lot of other people's nonsense onto me. Throwing away a gift that you do, in fact, know someone gave you in earnest still feels like shit. So you wind up in a no-win situation. At least if you're a nice person. And then you come in telling me I'm an asshole for having independent taste, and telling me I should just mold my personality to whatever nonsense other people decide to give me, and really I don't have my own taste after all and it's normal to submerge myself in the crap other people saddle me with. You come in telling me, and everyone else in this thread with the same position, that you know better than we do about our personality on the basis of exactly zero personal acquaintance. Just because you're cool with your llama cufflinks doesn't mean everyone else needs to be cool with the arbitrary bullshit that gets flung at us. Fuck off with that shit.

noduerme 4y ago

I think this is untrue in a couple of ways. Firstly, people like being considered easy to buy for and don't resent it. Secondly, people grow into whatever they end up with a collection of. Thirdly, Americans don't use the word "dreadful".

fsckboy 4y ago
people who write for The New Yorker definitely do use the word dreadful. I am impossible to buy for and I'm happy that way; I just tell people they don't need to get me anything.
- noduerme 4y ago
  See, just from that statement I would know exactly what snarky coffee mugs to buy you.
  - fsckboy 4y ago
    you brought a smile to my face, I do love a nice snarky coffee mug. But could you buy me a set of them, when reaching I don't like choosing between mismatches wrt dimensions, and not large, medium or smaller? also, presenting a thin walled rim where it touches my lip
- throwaway98797 4y ago
  we wouldn’t want to be so gauche to say it tho
andrewflnr 4y ago
> people like being considered easy to buy for and don't resent it. Not the question. The resentment comes from being expected to pretend you appreciate "gifts" that are nothing but chaff in the gears of your life. Ask me how I know (actually don't, you can guess, right?). > people grow into whatever they end up with a collection of What? No. I don't know about you or the people you've been hanging around with, but some of us have actual tastes of our own. The phenomenon of people being deluged in variations of the same thoughtless personal-meme-gift is well-attested. I'm not aware of any cases where the recipient actually changed their personality to fit, and I would further claim that it's unhealthy to try. Honestly, what are you trying to do here? Whatever it is, stop.
- noduerme 4y ago
  Oh seriously, if someone buys you a gift you don't want, appreciate the gesture and throw it away if it's "meaningless chaff". Or if you like it, adopt it. Like I adopted the llama cufflinks I got from my girlfriend for no discernable reason. But for God's sake stop bitching about how people buying you shit you don't need is the horrible burden of capitalism. Go live in a van with 6 pairs of underwear like I did for 10 years and you may lay a tiny claim to not wanting "stuff" because it weighs you down a little. But first see if you can discern from the heights of your high horse whether most gifts aren't given in earnest. Only a spoiled child gets angry about getting gifts they didn't want. >> Honestly, what are you trying to do here? Whatever it is, stop. "Do"? "stop"? Under whose authority and why? I was making a comment. If you think I'm trying to demolish some moral position you hold, go ahead and explain why... but "honestly"+"whatever"+"stop" doesn't tell me what you're actually objecting to.
  - andrewflnr 4y ago
    You're projecting a lot of other people's nonsense onto me. Throwing away a gift that you do, in fact, know someone gave you in earnest still feels like shit. So you wind up in a no-win situation. At least if you're a nice person. And then you come in telling me I'm an asshole for having independent taste, and telling me I should just mold my personality to whatever nonsense other people decide to give me, and really I don't have my own taste after all and it's normal to submerge myself in the crap other people saddle me with. You come in telling me, and everyone else in this thread with the same position, that you know better than we do about our personality on the basis of exactly zero personal acquaintance. Just because you're cool with your llama cufflinks doesn't mean everyone else needs to be cool with the arbitrary bullshit that gets flung at us. Fuck off with that shit.