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I was recently looking into the science of porn and its effects. I think there is much to be desired. It is so tangled with religious morals, and what few studi

I was recently looking into the science of porn and its effects. I think there is much to be desired. It is so tangled with religious morals, and what few studies exist beg the cliche "correlation does not prove causation". Pornography also has many definitions and covers a wide range of media. It's awkward to talk about and people avoid being specific which furthers confusion. I imagine at least some disagreements arise because one party is thinking of ASMR when they hear the word "porn", and another is thinking of violent rape videos (acted out by consenting adults, hopefully!), two very different things. The only thing I'm personally certain about is partners should be honest about their values and behaviors, preferably early in the relationship.

atoav 4y ago
What you say is right, but one thing to consider is the images porn might create of how a sucessful sex life and the persons having it (have to) look like. While I have no data here I know of cases where especially people whose sexuality is not developed, or people who never had sex can land in a sexually and personally very frustrating place because they don't read the overexaggerated, sometimes comical and distorted acts for what they are. Having good sex with someone in the real world is all about being able to express one's desire and form a connection. Having very fixed images of how the whole thing must look can and will get in the way of that. For young people the backdrop of porn can really fuck things up. Where two people where meant to discover their sexuality together, they might now wrongly feel like experts already, unable to connect at all.
- FrontierPsych 4y ago
  I hear this a lot, but this has to only affect the most dense of people. I saw the stuff and never once did I think porn was "real." It's ridiculous. I don't think that Wiley C Coyote falls 2000 feet off a cliff, you see a hole in the ground with his profile, and he climbs out and dusts himself off and walks away. This may seem REALLY bizarre to some people, but I don't think that is real either. No, I think the whole "You watch porn and people think it is real and that is the way it is" has to be some kind of weird scare tactic.
- benj111 4y ago
  You could say this about a lot of things. Good looking people on TV. Standards of beauty. Standards of success. This isn't unique to porn.
  - carlmr 4y ago
    It may not be unique, but it may still create false standards in your monkey brain that wasn't built for this. I know a few people that seem extremely picky when it comes to looks, let's say much more than their own looks allow, destroying potential happy relationships, because they have impossible standards.
    - benj111 4y ago
      Ok but if you're saying it's a reason why porn is bad, you have to also accept that all the other things are bad. And as society only seems to single this out for porn while ignoring the other things (apart from perhaps beauty) then it's a bit of a double standard. Not saying you have a double standard personally though.
      - carlmr 4y ago
        > you have to also accept that all the other things are bad. Exactly, I think all these things are bad in the same way. They distort your sense of normalcy. I do think porn might have a special place here though. As with any addictive drug, you have a ritual, with a dopamine hit that accompanies an activity you can do quite frequently and that doesn't keep you satisfied. That's really the kind of stuff that shapes your brain more than passive activities like TV. Social Media is probably on a similar level of insidiousness.
benj111 4y ago
>and another is thinking of violent rape videos (acted out by consenting adults, hopefully! Technically illegal in the UK. But hey, I can watch James bond murder a few dozen people before breakfast, and he hangs out with the queen.

atoav 4y ago

What you say is right, but one thing to consider is the images porn might create of how a sucessful sex life and the persons having it (have to) look like. While I have no data here I know of cases where especially people whose sexuality is not developed, or people who never had sex can land in a sexually and personally very frustrating place because they don't read the overexaggerated, sometimes comical and distorted acts for what they are. Having good sex with someone in the real world is all about being able to express one's desire and form a connection. Having very fixed images of how the whole thing must look can and will get in the way of that. For young people the backdrop of porn can really fuck things up. Where two people where meant to discover their sexuality together, they might now wrongly feel like experts already, unable to connect at all.

FrontierPsych 4y ago
I hear this a lot, but this has to only affect the most dense of people. I saw the stuff and never once did I think porn was "real." It's ridiculous. I don't think that Wiley C Coyote falls 2000 feet off a cliff, you see a hole in the ground with his profile, and he climbs out and dusts himself off and walks away. This may seem REALLY bizarre to some people, but I don't think that is real either. No, I think the whole "You watch porn and people think it is real and that is the way it is" has to be some kind of weird scare tactic.
benj111 4y ago
You could say this about a lot of things. Good looking people on TV. Standards of beauty. Standards of success. This isn't unique to porn.
- carlmr 4y ago
  It may not be unique, but it may still create false standards in your monkey brain that wasn't built for this. I know a few people that seem extremely picky when it comes to looks, let's say much more than their own looks allow, destroying potential happy relationships, because they have impossible standards.
  - benj111 4y ago
    Ok but if you're saying it's a reason why porn is bad, you have to also accept that all the other things are bad. And as society only seems to single this out for porn while ignoring the other things (apart from perhaps beauty) then it's a bit of a double standard. Not saying you have a double standard personally though.
    - carlmr 4y ago
      > you have to also accept that all the other things are bad. Exactly, I think all these things are bad in the same way. They distort your sense of normalcy. I do think porn might have a special place here though. As with any addictive drug, you have a ritual, with a dopamine hit that accompanies an activity you can do quite frequently and that doesn't keep you satisfied. That's really the kind of stuff that shapes your brain more than passive activities like TV. Social Media is probably on a similar level of insidiousness.

benj111 4y ago

>and another is thinking of violent rape videos (acted out by consenting adults, hopefully! Technically illegal in the UK. But hey, I can watch James bond murder a few dozen people before breakfast, and he hangs out with the queen.