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Since I see we're using this as an excuse for general video-gaming-and-parenting discussion... I'm currently very conflicted about video games for my son (7). H

Since I see we're using this as an excuse for general video-gaming-and-parenting discussion... I'm currently very conflicted about video games for my son (7). He loves them but mom hates them and insists on a limit of 10 minutes per day. I am not sure she is wrong. I played a lot of games as a kid and I probably could have done better things with my time. Not that I got any guidance as to what those better things would have been, but still. At the same time, it seems like a lot of dads are bonding with their boys by playing games, and I wonder if I am missing out. I just don't know what to think.

Globz 4y ago
In your situation I would give him an hour per day (10 minutes is a very short amount of time to do anything fun or see progress in most games) then monitor the outcome based on your previous baseline , does he ask for extra time when its time to call it quit, do you see a negative outcome on his grades, focus and desire to play outside or with other toys, etc. Then simply cut back if you see any downsides with 1 hour per day. You should definitely play with him during that time if you can, it is a great way to bond with your son and try to change the activity during the week, like play lego with him instead of gaming and see what will be his reaction when a video game is no longer involved. Video games are always good in moderation and there are definitely some great games for kids, exploring with him when searching for a new game will teach you a lot about about why he’s drawn to such and such game and this way you may be able to find other hobbies outside of gaming which are related to his interests.
jacooper 4y ago
> He loves them but mom hates them and insists on a limit of 10 minutes per day. Come on this is ridiculous! 10 minutes is nothing!. Maybe 2 or 3 hours, but 10 minutes? It will take him a full year to finish the first part of a game!, and will never allow him to discover games with depth and stories(my favorites), so he is going to play quick mobile games, which IMO are the worst. > I am not sure she is wrong. I played a lot of games as a kid and I probably could have done better things with my time. Not that I got any guidance as to what those better things would have been, but still. Games in my experience are a gateway to most of tech, for example my first interaction with networks and servers was when trying to create a Minecraft server to play with my friends. Like everything, doing it moderation is the best, I think 2 or 3 hours would be fitting(not that I had them personally), But please make sure there is actually something else for him to do, because otherwise he is going to spend the whole day waiting for these three hours. > At the same time, it seems like a lot of dads are bonding with their boys by playing games, and I wonder if I am missing out. Probably, your kid is also missing out on playing with his friends online. To this day gaming is one of the biggest ways to keep in touch with remote people for me. But that's just my own opinion.
bcrosby95 4y ago
> a limit of 10 minutes per day. I honestly laughed at this. This is like limiting movie time to 5 minutes per day. The way we do it in our house... the kids have an hour of tablet time doing whatever they want. Games, tv shows, movies, whatever. When the hour is up, its up. Beyond that, we do have a nintendo switch, but that's for family video game time. I don't mind the singular switch/tv we have as much as the tablets, because since we have only 1 it requires 3 kids 7 & under to negotiate with eachother. But if you only have 1 kid that can change the game. Someday I do plan to get them all desktop PCs. I have friends with similarly aged kids and they have family Minecraft and Valheim servers. Sounds like a lot of fun to me. My nephew recently went to college and he keeps in touch with his high school friends in part via a minecraft server he runs.
technovader 4y ago
I grew up as a heavy gamer, and it became my identity. I absolutely got addicted to games and I still struggle with functioning in daily life without trying to go back and play 1-2 hours of games each night for the dopamine hit. More importantly, I missed out on actual real life experiences throughout my childhood all the way till I was 28. I let me kids play games now, but as long as it doesn't overtake more useful activities (reading, going out, playground, socializing with friends, swimming, biking)

Globz 4y ago

In your situation I would give him an hour per day (10 minutes is a very short amount of time to do anything fun or see progress in most games) then monitor the outcome based on your previous baseline , does he ask for extra time when its time to call it quit, do you see a negative outcome on his grades, focus and desire to play outside or with other toys, etc. Then simply cut back if you see any downsides with 1 hour per day. You should definitely play with him during that time if you can, it is a great way to bond with your son and try to change the activity during the week, like play lego with him instead of gaming and see what will be his reaction when a video game is no longer involved. Video games are always good in moderation and there are definitely some great games for kids, exploring with him when searching for a new game will teach you a lot about about why he’s drawn to such and such game and this way you may be able to find other hobbies outside of gaming which are related to his interests.

jacooper 4y ago

> He loves them but mom hates them and insists on a limit of 10 minutes per day. Come on this is ridiculous! 10 minutes is nothing!. Maybe 2 or 3 hours, but 10 minutes? It will take him a full year to finish the first part of a game!, and will never allow him to discover games with depth and stories(my favorites), so he is going to play quick mobile games, which IMO are the worst. > I am not sure she is wrong. I played a lot of games as a kid and I probably could have done better things with my time. Not that I got any guidance as to what those better things would have been, but still. Games in my experience are a gateway to most of tech, for example my first interaction with networks and servers was when trying to create a Minecraft server to play with my friends. Like everything, doing it moderation is the best, I think 2 or 3 hours would be fitting(not that I had them personally), But please make sure there is actually something else for him to do, because otherwise he is going to spend the whole day waiting for these three hours. > At the same time, it seems like a lot of dads are bonding with their boys by playing games, and I wonder if I am missing out. Probably, your kid is also missing out on playing with his friends online. To this day gaming is one of the biggest ways to keep in touch with remote people for me. But that's just my own opinion.

bcrosby95 4y ago

> a limit of 10 minutes per day. I honestly laughed at this. This is like limiting movie time to 5 minutes per day. The way we do it in our house... the kids have an hour of tablet time doing whatever they want. Games, tv shows, movies, whatever. When the hour is up, its up. Beyond that, we do have a nintendo switch, but that's for family video game time. I don't mind the singular switch/tv we have as much as the tablets, because since we have only 1 it requires 3 kids 7 & under to negotiate with eachother. But if you only have 1 kid that can change the game. Someday I do plan to get them all desktop PCs. I have friends with similarly aged kids and they have family Minecraft and Valheim servers. Sounds like a lot of fun to me. My nephew recently went to college and he keeps in touch with his high school friends in part via a minecraft server he runs.

technovader 4y ago

I grew up as a heavy gamer, and it became my identity. I absolutely got addicted to games and I still struggle with functioning in daily life without trying to go back and play 1-2 hours of games each night for the dopamine hit. More importantly, I missed out on actual real life experiences throughout my childhood all the way till I was 28. I let me kids play games now, but as long as it doesn't overtake more useful activities (reading, going out, playground, socializing with friends, swimming, biking)