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I was bullied, but find it hard to believe that not interacting with kids was the solution. The root cause of the bullying (from my side) was because at the tim

I was bullied, but find it hard to believe that not interacting with kids was the solution. The root cause of the bullying (from my side) was because at the time my social skills were lagging behind my peers', and I don't regret not being taken out of that situation.

DSingularity 4y ago
The results of bullying vary I guess
klibertp 4y ago
Stockholm syndrome? There's really no excusable "cause" for bullying; it's like saying you don't regret getting raped because, at the time, your sexual drive was lagging behind your peers. That's a rationalization and a way to cope with trauma for the victim. From the other side it's simply blaming the victim.
- sweezyjeezy 4y ago
  I'm in no way grateful that I was bullied, I didn't enjoy my school years. But part of the reason why I was singled out for bullying was because I spent a lot of my school years buried in math books rather than being with my peers. When I started to understand how badly behind I was socially at around age 14, I started to make the changes necessary to catch up. This meant talking and listening to to the kids at my school a lot more. I didn't realise this because of the bullying, but they were clearly related. The bullying was damaging I agree, but I think taking me out of school completely would have been so much more harmful.
  - klibertp 4y ago
    Right, indeed, I'm not a psychologist by any means, but I also think that removing the problem altogether without solving it could be damaging too, maybe in other, more subtle ways later on. To be honest, I don't think there's a solution to bullying that wouldn't be damaging in some way, for all involved - once it starts, it's already too late to go back to normal; you can only do damage control and hope for time (and/or professionals) to help heal the wounds. I'm glad you've made it out of that situation without major harm (and even some constructive conclusions), but you're an outlier, I think. Normally it doesn't go that well. It really shouldn't happen in the first place...

DSingularity 4y ago

The results of bullying vary I guess

klibertp 4y ago

Stockholm syndrome? There's really no excusable "cause" for bullying; it's like saying you don't regret getting raped because, at the time, your sexual drive was lagging behind your peers. That's a rationalization and a way to cope with trauma for the victim. From the other side it's simply blaming the victim.

sweezyjeezy 4y ago
I'm in no way grateful that I was bullied, I didn't enjoy my school years. But part of the reason why I was singled out for bullying was because I spent a lot of my school years buried in math books rather than being with my peers. When I started to understand how badly behind I was socially at around age 14, I started to make the changes necessary to catch up. This meant talking and listening to to the kids at my school a lot more. I didn't realise this because of the bullying, but they were clearly related. The bullying was damaging I agree, but I think taking me out of school completely would have been so much more harmful.
- klibertp 4y ago
  Right, indeed, I'm not a psychologist by any means, but I also think that removing the problem altogether without solving it could be damaging too, maybe in other, more subtle ways later on. To be honest, I don't think there's a solution to bullying that wouldn't be damaging in some way, for all involved - once it starts, it's already too late to go back to normal; you can only do damage control and hope for time (and/or professionals) to help heal the wounds. I'm glad you've made it out of that situation without major harm (and even some constructive conclusions), but you're an outlier, I think. Normally it doesn't go that well. It really shouldn't happen in the first place...