I've got a family friend, she's my parents' age (so, in her 70s), and she posts these sorts of jokes _endlessly_. I'll share her most recent three. A couple is

I've got a family friend, she's my parents' age (so, in her 70s), and she posts these sorts of jokes _endlessly_. I'll share her most recent three. A couple is married 40 yrs when the wife suddenly dies - After the funeral, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan, open the casket, and are shocked to find the wife is actually alive... She lives for ten more years and then dies again. A funeral is held and once again the pallbearers are carrying out the casket. As they are walking down the hallway, the husband points and yells to the pallbearers "Watch out for that wall!" --- Boy to dad: how was I born? Dad: well your mom and I got together in a chat room on Yahoo, then I set up an email date and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room googled each other and your mom agreed to a download from my hard drive. When I was ready to upload we discovered neither one of us used a firewall… It was too late to hit the delete button and 9 months later a pop-up appeared that said, “You’ve got Male" --- A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn." Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was." The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." The robot slaps the mother. Robot for sale. --- Alright one more: I am now proud to announce that I am selling adult toys. I hope no one is embarrassed to ask for them. I have all kinds, sizes and styles according to your needs. Discretion is guaranteed!! I am more then willing and able to demonstrate any items listed for you. Ask for yours anytime. I have everything listed below if needed: Walkers, wheelchairs, oxygen tanks, canes, disposable diapers etc etc. --- p.s. you'd probably love Steven Wright. https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/181771.Steven_Wright https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/181771.Steven_Wright But they are best heard in his deadpan delivery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB8ZDrNb3B0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB8ZDrNb3B0