It is not a parody. It uses the words "ostensibly" and "theoretically" in describing the tortoise's lifespan, amidst all the warnings of what can go wrong if y

It is not a parody. It uses the words "ostensibly" and "theoretically" in describing the tortoise's lifespan, amidst all the warnings of what can go wrong if you don't properly care for them. It sounds like they're acknowledging that people are gonna have these animals as pets, damn the cost and consequence, and kill them through neglect.