Sounds like a classic mid life crisis to me. Although you don’t have a way to actuate your fantasy so you’re getting depressed. Since having a kid (adoption in

Sounds like a classic mid life crisis to me. Although you don’t have a way to actuate your fantasy so you’re getting depressed. Since having a kid (adoption in your case) is more serious than buying a sports car, I’d really suggest seeking therapy first to make sure it is something you really want. You’re not too old to adopt if you decide to. Take it from someone on the other side - I frequently envy my 40 year old colleagues without kids. They travel, focus on their hobbies, and generally do what they want and seem happier and less stressed out. They have more money and drive nicer cars and have nicer, neater houses. Kids are a major self sacrifice - you give up vast quantities of personal time and opportunities. It is a large trade off.