4 ms·

> A SAH spouse is not an equal partner with a 50% contribution. More of an oldest child with extra responsibilities and a higher allowance. This is a really de

by abnry 4y ago

> A SAH spouse is not an equal partner with a 50% contribution. More of an oldest child with extra responsibilities and a higher allowance. This is a really depressing way of looking at things.

nineplay 4y ago
Spend any amount of time among ( let's be honest ) men and you see this attitude over and over again. They "let" their spouse stay at home. The SAH spouse spends all "their" money. The working spouse "supports" the family. There's a constant stream of posts on reddit about how how a working spouse should be able to come home and play video games for hours - they work so hard and deserve a break. Does the SAH spouse work hard deserve a break? What a ridiculous idea. See how often someone complains that they come home and the house is a mess and the laundry isn't done and dinner isn't ready. This isn't the attitude of an equal partner, this is the attitude of a boss. Does the SAH spouse get to review the working spouse's productivity each day? Give them access to the JIRA board and let them start asking why it's taking a week to support a minor version change.
- abnry 4y ago
  The attitude some have of a SAH spouse does not make the definition of a SAH spouse.
- annyeonghada 4y ago
  Now spend time with career women and realize that a stay at home dad is not even considered a man worth talking. Women want their vake and eat it too but the one baking it should always be the man.
chasd00 4y ago
>> A SAH spouse is not an equal partner with a 50% contribution. More of an oldest child with extra responsibilities and a higher allowance. > This is a really depressing way of looking at things. No, it's not depressing, it's total BS. Anyone who's ever been in a remotely serious relationship knows keeping score like "percent contribution" leads to the end of that relationship.
- lotsofpulp 4y ago
  It is not BS. Financial independence is real freedom. See any and all societies where women do not have financial freedom. People may not keep score, but the women will act differently based on the fact that at the end of the day, they are dependents. And men will act differently, because they know they are independent. So given the fact that financially independent women do not have kids at similar rates as financially dependent women, perhaps it is an important part of a relationship.
watwut 4y ago
But very very common and very very strong reason to not be SAH. Because a lot of partners will have exactly that attitude, no matter how nice they were previously. And it will rub on your self-esteem.

by abnry 4y ago

> A SAH spouse is not an equal partner with a 50% contribution. More of an oldest child with extra responsibilities and a higher allowance. This is a really depressing way of looking at things.

nineplay 4y ago

Spend any amount of time among ( let's be honest ) men and you see this attitude over and over again. They "let" their spouse stay at home. The SAH spouse spends all "their" money. The working spouse "supports" the family. There's a constant stream of posts on reddit about how how a working spouse should be able to come home and play video games for hours - they work so hard and deserve a break. Does the SAH spouse work hard deserve a break? What a ridiculous idea. See how often someone complains that they come home and the house is a mess and the laundry isn't done and dinner isn't ready. This isn't the attitude of an equal partner, this is the attitude of a boss. Does the SAH spouse get to review the working spouse's productivity each day? Give them access to the JIRA board and let them start asking why it's taking a week to support a minor version change.

abnry 4y ago
The attitude some have of a SAH spouse does not make the definition of a SAH spouse.
annyeonghada 4y ago
Now spend time with career women and realize that a stay at home dad is not even considered a man worth talking. Women want their vake and eat it too but the one baking it should always be the man.

chasd00 4y ago

>> A SAH spouse is not an equal partner with a 50% contribution. More of an oldest child with extra responsibilities and a higher allowance. > This is a really depressing way of looking at things. No, it's not depressing, it's total BS. Anyone who's ever been in a remotely serious relationship knows keeping score like "percent contribution" leads to the end of that relationship.

lotsofpulp 4y ago
It is not BS. Financial independence is real freedom. See any and all societies where women do not have financial freedom. People may not keep score, but the women will act differently based on the fact that at the end of the day, they are dependents. And men will act differently, because they know they are independent. So given the fact that financially independent women do not have kids at similar rates as financially dependent women, perhaps it is an important part of a relationship.

watwut 4y ago

But very very common and very very strong reason to not be SAH. Because a lot of partners will have exactly that attitude, no matter how nice they were previously. And it will rub on your self-esteem.