My uncle had a child later in life, such that I have a cousin who's younger than my youngest, so, to repeat what a lot of others are saying: it's not too late.

My uncle had a child later in life, such that I have a cousin who's younger than my youngest, so, to repeat what a lot of others are saying: it's not too late. My sister had a child in her late 30's (maybe 37 or 38), and before she got pregnant was actually spiralling into depression because she was having trouble getting pregnant. And whilst this kid is a bundle of potential ADD energy, he's also very bright and intelligent. Again, it's not too late. However, fantasising about fatal illnesses doesn't point to a stable mental state, and raising a child, properly at least, requires almost inhuman mental and emotional stability (although plenty of people raise kids with wildly volatile emotional and mental states). It also sounds as if you're fantasising about a 'solution' to your life, and have fixated upon having children as this solution. It sounds to me (and I've been known to be wrong on every level possible) as if you need to rediscover the joy of living and the uniqueness and diversity of the world / universe by experiencing more of it. Being able to find enjoyment in life will also make you a better parent by way of example.