I understand that this is very important for you (being a parent has changed me, in many ways) but it sounds like there's something else going on in your case.

I understand that this is very important for you (being a parent has changed me, in many ways) but it sounds like there's something else going on in your case. The fact that you are getting anxiety attacks (or close to) because of this regret should be looked into. If you end up having children of your own (adopted or otherwise) know that they will make your stress levels go up, and you will worry about them and they will be a source of nuisance and bother a lot of the time. So better take care of that anxiety first. Even if you end up not having children, living with anxiety is miserable. So, get that looked up. I don't know you enough to recommend switching to a different therapist, but I can tell you it helped (still helps) me. In your case perhaps something other (a priest, or a coach) might be more appropriate.