3 ms·

IIRC, 42 is around the age where the window closes, at least, that's what my physician told me. Regardless, if that gap has closed, it may be some consolation

IIRC, 42 is around the age where the window closes, at least, that's what my physician told me. Regardless, if that gap has closed, it may be some consolation to bring this up to your friends and relations who are on the fence about having kids. Everybody's chuffed to tell others about how they made the right choice for them. Rarely, does one hear from another with the courage to say "I changed my mind, and wish I'd taken another path", particularly in the having-kids domain. When I hear your comments above and think "Is this suffering rooted in a desire to contribute to others?" If so, consider telling those you love and respect about your choice and its consequences. Especially tell those who have the potential to have kids - and be a support system in their lives.

bhouston 4y ago
Pregnancy success is women dependent (egg quality is the problem, and leads to increasing fertilitization and miscarriage rates) and start to drop at the beginning of one’s 30s and gets really bad in late thirties and near impossible in early 40s. Every women is different and some have earlier falloff in success rates. The moral of the story is don’t want until you are 30 to have kids. Have them young and it is easy. Wait and it gets really emotionally hard or impossible or expensive or a combination of all three. https://advancedfertility.com/patient-education/causes-of-infertility/age-and-fertility/ https://advancedfertility.com/patient-education/causes-of-in...
- pingpongrandom 4y ago
  Thanks for adding this additional context!
- nostromo123 4y ago
  So impossible that both I and my neighbour of similar age got pregnant within a couple of months of trying at 40...must be something in the water here. Or maybe we are just healthy and have good hormonal status ;-)
  - bhouston 4y ago
    Anecdotal success after 40 is real. But the statistical distribution means that you and your friend are lucky. My friend circle has a lot of couples in it who have had fertility problems. Often it isn’t spoken of.
    - nostromo123 4y ago
      For sure it's anecdotal, I just wanted to point out that at this age it is by far not next to impossible to have a child. I wouldn't rely on it, but it's also not a "1 in 100/1000" kind of situation. There are various sources that are extremely discouraging to women of this age, as if getting pregnant and having a healthy child at this age was somehow akin to winning the lottery, when it is not. Of course, it all depends on the woman's egg reserves and general health; but there, like I commented in another subthread, personal biology definitely trumps statistics.

bhouston 4y ago

Pregnancy success is women dependent (egg quality is the problem, and leads to increasing fertilitization and miscarriage rates) and start to drop at the beginning of one’s 30s and gets really bad in late thirties and near impossible in early 40s. Every women is different and some have earlier falloff in success rates. The moral of the story is don’t want until you are 30 to have kids. Have them young and it is easy. Wait and it gets really emotionally hard or impossible or expensive or a combination of all three. https://advancedfertility.com/patient-education/causes-of-infertility/age-and-fertility/ https://advancedfertility.com/patient-education/causes-of-in...

pingpongrandom 4y ago
Thanks for adding this additional context!
nostromo123 4y ago
So impossible that both I and my neighbour of similar age got pregnant within a couple of months of trying at 40...must be something in the water here. Or maybe we are just healthy and have good hormonal status ;-)
- bhouston 4y ago
  Anecdotal success after 40 is real. But the statistical distribution means that you and your friend are lucky. My friend circle has a lot of couples in it who have had fertility problems. Often it isn’t spoken of.
  - nostromo123 4y ago
    For sure it's anecdotal, I just wanted to point out that at this age it is by far not next to impossible to have a child. I wouldn't rely on it, but it's also not a "1 in 100/1000" kind of situation. There are various sources that are extremely discouraging to women of this age, as if getting pregnant and having a healthy child at this age was somehow akin to winning the lottery, when it is not. Of course, it all depends on the woman's egg reserves and general health; but there, like I commented in another subthread, personal biology definitely trumps statistics.