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> Many people will also tout, that making a family was the best thing they ever did. However, studies show, that people are not necessarily happier after having

> Many people will also tout, that making a family was the best thing they ever did. However, studies show, that people are not necessarily happier after having kids and one explanation for this is, that it is not socially accceptable usually, to say things like: "Ah getting children was a mistake, I wish I had not done that.". People will paint you as asocial or worse, if you say those things. Also people need to justify their own past decisions to themselves and might really believe, that it was the best decision they made. I don't think that is true. I think most people will say that having kids was the best thing in their life because it truly feels that way to them. Seeing your child growing up is work, but it's absolutely magical and most people don't see it as unpleasant work. Everything in life can be labelled as work, but just as we agree that working on your own business is a different kind of work than going to an office 9-5 every day we also know that the work that is required to raise a child isn't the same as the work which we normally associate negative feelings with. Besides, studies have shown that people with children live longer and not only that, people who become grandparents live considerably longer as they get new purpose and life injected into them, so I assume there is somewhere a strong correlation between having children and being happy.

zelphirkalt 4y ago
Well, if you ask me personally about my opinion, then I think, that it would be a sad world, if all we could draw some "new life energy" from is children. We are already too many on this planet. Best we find other things to draw new life energy from. For example as a pensioner one could help other people's kids learn stuff. One could work a little in an animal shelter. One could mentor younger people. One could write down ones knowledge in some kind of document, maybe book. One could continue to do a little honorary work. One could try to organize a political discussion group to further democracy. Lots of things pensioners can do to still take part in society and have positive impact. > I think most people will say that having kids was the best thing in their life because it truly feels that way to them. That is actually what I wrote: They might truly believe it: > Also people need to justify their own past decisions to themselves and might really believe, that it was the best decision they made. I personally would be totally fine with helping my friends and their children out, by teaching their children math or chess or computer programming or something like that, once they are in that age. I could then see the fruits of those efforts, as they deal with school and education. Maybe I can even manage to teach them in a way, that they get good grades and have a great future. They do not have to be my children for me to see fruits of the work put in to raise them. I am not really a fan of having to swap diapers though. But that's all me and others might be, and likely are, different. That is kind of the point as well: Different people can have different things in life that make them happy. Children is not a one-fits-all solution. And just to be clear: It is fine when people see their children as their thing in life. Their choice! Good if it works for them. I do not think of raising children as the same kind of work, but I do think it is considerable work, which many people get into, without being fully aware, just how stressful it might make the next decade of their life.
Deegy 4y ago
https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/ https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/

zelphirkalt 4y ago

Well, if you ask me personally about my opinion, then I think, that it would be a sad world, if all we could draw some "new life energy" from is children. We are already too many on this planet. Best we find other things to draw new life energy from. For example as a pensioner one could help other people's kids learn stuff. One could work a little in an animal shelter. One could mentor younger people. One could write down ones knowledge in some kind of document, maybe book. One could continue to do a little honorary work. One could try to organize a political discussion group to further democracy. Lots of things pensioners can do to still take part in society and have positive impact. > I think most people will say that having kids was the best thing in their life because it truly feels that way to them. That is actually what I wrote: They might truly believe it: > Also people need to justify their own past decisions to themselves and might really believe, that it was the best decision they made. I personally would be totally fine with helping my friends and their children out, by teaching their children math or chess or computer programming or something like that, once they are in that age. I could then see the fruits of those efforts, as they deal with school and education. Maybe I can even manage to teach them in a way, that they get good grades and have a great future. They do not have to be my children for me to see fruits of the work put in to raise them. I am not really a fan of having to swap diapers though. But that's all me and others might be, and likely are, different. That is kind of the point as well: Different people can have different things in life that make them happy. Children is not a one-fits-all solution. And just to be clear: It is fine when people see their children as their thing in life. Their choice! Good if it works for them. I do not think of raising children as the same kind of work, but I do think it is considerable work, which many people get into, without being fully aware, just how stressful it might make the next decade of their life.

Deegy 4y ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/ https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/