I used to feel like this. I worked and travelled all the time and resented the fact that I had to give up so much of my remaining free time for family things.

I used to feel like this. I worked and travelled all the time and resented the fact that I had to give up so much of my remaining free time for family things. Covid forced a change on me whereby I was tied to home much more and started connecting with my kids better. And I’m very glad it happened with hindsight. I actually feel like a selfish and stupid idiot now wanting to work (messing around with some new JS framework or whatever) when I could have been spending time with my children. Fortunately it happened early enough that it was still reparable. I would have bitterly regretted learning this lesson 10 years later. Raising kids is hard and it can be a drag, but you are only in the thick of it for a few years, and you don’t have to totally park your life even during those years. Losing yourself totally would also be a bad life decision and likely bad for your marriage too.