On hard constraints: You can have kids at 40 if your partner agrees. If your partner does not agree you need to figure out which one is more important to you, k

On hard constraints: You can have kids at 40 if your partner agrees. If your partner does not agree you need to figure out which one is more important to you, kids or your current relationship. That said, are you sure you are otherwise ok? What you write sounds like you may be dissatisfied of your current life in other dimensions as well as not just "having kids". Please don't get kids just as a bandaid, if the motivation is that your life sucks and you imagine getting kids will make your life better - because it likely wont. Speaking from experience - especially dreaming of an easy way out (I wish I had cancer) sounds like you may have mental health issues. When I was into clinical depression I used to dream of getting a disease and dying out. I really suggest you talk to a professional about these feelings.