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One thing that might be hard to appreciate is how much, at least for me, having kids changed my personality. I’ve become a much more patient person. Spending ex

One thing that might be hard to appreciate is how much, at least for me, having kids changed my personality. I’ve become a much more patient person. Spending extended periods of time with my kids almost has a meditative quality in which I’m living in the moment and absorbing my surroundings in a deliberate way. My son’s presence in his environment provides a fresh perspective that I can tune into and ride along with.

notch656a 4y ago
That's interesting. Kids made me much less patient, and also far more selfish. I have much less free time so I get absolutely frustrated if the remainder is wasted. I have far less money so I am loathe to give it to anyone in need or do much but hoard money at all costs lest the child need more $100 bills for the roaring cash fire they are. I have no time for friends so I have little incentive to be kind or cordial to others for the purpose of developing a relationship. My emotional capacity to care for others is drained by the child, so I have no empathy left over for others. Pre-kid me was far more patient, far more kind, far more generous, far more empathetic, and all around a much more pleasant and well rounded person.
- nickd2001 4y ago
  Isn't that just that your patience / giving capacity is just being exhausted by your kid at the mo' ? No-one has unlimited capacity in that area. Maybe when the kid gets bigger, more independent, less demanding, you'll go back to how you were before? You might just have to apologise to some friends for having been cranky for a while? ;) Also don't underestimate how much capacity is drained by juggling work and kids. I think a lot of people who say kids are hard, really, their problem is work drains them too much. So, finding a more laid-back job, WFH etc, helps. I'm for sure much more laid back in the morning with the kids than I would be if I still had to rush out to the office. And reasonably laid-back about being interrupted from work to see the latest picture they've drawn or whatever, cos my work is not as stressful as some previous jobs

notch656a 4y ago

That's interesting. Kids made me much less patient, and also far more selfish. I have much less free time so I get absolutely frustrated if the remainder is wasted. I have far less money so I am loathe to give it to anyone in need or do much but hoard money at all costs lest the child need more $100 bills for the roaring cash fire they are. I have no time for friends so I have little incentive to be kind or cordial to others for the purpose of developing a relationship. My emotional capacity to care for others is drained by the child, so I have no empathy left over for others. Pre-kid me was far more patient, far more kind, far more generous, far more empathetic, and all around a much more pleasant and well rounded person.

nickd2001 4y ago
Isn't that just that your patience / giving capacity is just being exhausted by your kid at the mo' ? No-one has unlimited capacity in that area. Maybe when the kid gets bigger, more independent, less demanding, you'll go back to how you were before? You might just have to apologise to some friends for having been cranky for a while? ;) Also don't underestimate how much capacity is drained by juggling work and kids. I think a lot of people who say kids are hard, really, their problem is work drains them too much. So, finding a more laid-back job, WFH etc, helps. I'm for sure much more laid back in the morning with the kids than I would be if I still had to rush out to the office. And reasonably laid-back about being interrupted from work to see the latest picture they've drawn or whatever, cos my work is not as stressful as some previous jobs