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Thanks for your comment! Indeed, I often wrestle with something similar as you describe, and I wonder if your last paragraph is really the solution. To elaborat

Thanks for your comment! Indeed, I often wrestle with something similar as you describe, and I wonder if your last paragraph is really the solution. To elaborate: I have done a lot of self-reflection in the past and a while back I realized that the thing that brings me the most joy in life is to improve at something that I work hard at. However, after looking into Stoicism, I find myself asking if I'm not being honest with myself, and that in reality I focus less on chasing "more" and more on mindfulness and enjoying life's moments. I'm very fortunate in that I've never been depressed or struggled with mental illness, but I feel that this tension between "I want to be the best" and "I should focus on being grateful and present with what I have" is a core question I have yet to really answer. For now, I'm very happy with my life being around the former, but a future me may look back at this and laugh :)

kayodelycaon 4y ago
It certainly doesn’t hurt to do some self-relfection. What I would do is ask who you would be without the thing you’re doing now. For me, no matter what I do, I like to build things, learn things, and reach people. To inspire creativity, to teach, to bring joy. These are the things I need to do to be happy and fulfilled. But these are not the things that give me energy. They use it. They can consume me until I look around and wonder what all this is worth. As humans, we have more needs than what we strive for. I need to hang out with friends and do nothing meaningful. I need to touch and be touched. I need solitude when everything becomes too much. Maybe it’s because I’m bipolar, but trying to optimize for one thing results in the others being neglected. I guess this is what others call mindfulness? :)