This couldn't be more wrong for me, personally. I first started getting depression when I was, so to speak, at the top of my social game in high school. Now, it

This couldn't be more wrong for me, personally. I first started getting depression when I was, so to speak, at the top of my social game in high school. Now, it is more or less well managed, and doesn't really manifest except for periods of time when I'm under significant stress. Depression isn't a defense mechanism at all- it is purely destructive and aimed internally. Projection is a much better example of an unhealthy defense mechanism to social failure. How can you help? Depression and anxiety are both examples of self-reinforcing pathologies; the manifestation encourages the continued behavior in a repetitive cycle. Treatment focuses on breaking that cycle- medication for what we guess might be the underlying biological cause on the one hand, and therapy to build up more resilient behaviors that don't lead to spiraling on the other (i.e. if you get too anxious at work, methods to handle the anxiety that don't put your job in jeopardy by feeding the flight response and causing more anxiety). Social life being zero sum is also, I think, a fundamentally wrong statement, but I'd rather keep the discussion focused on the medical side as it is more relevant to the rest of the thread.