4 ms·

Is that really how it is for you? The blank days in my opinion are the good ones, the level and balanced ones where I can just be in the zone or frankly even ju

Is that really how it is for you? The blank days in my opinion are the good ones, the level and balanced ones where I can just be in the zone or frankly even just zoned out. The depressing days are the ones where my brain decides to sample from its wine cellar of my past mistakes without my permission.

deleted 4y ago
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scotty79 4y ago
I'm not really depressed or I don't think I am, although many things in accounts of depressed or formerly depressed people resonate with me. I'm basing my understanding of what depression is on accounts of people who were depressed and got their meds. They always mention starting to actually feel some emotion. Like in case of this patient it was sadness about his children that made him cry for the first time after many years of just thinking how sad it was. Another case that ifluenced my tinking was illustrated accout by Hyperbole and half. After she got her meds she initially started to feel anger then joy then sadness in sort of explosive manner. As opposed to before the meds when she was feeling just empty and wanting to not exist. The belief that underlying cause is not events or thoughts but physical damage to nervous system comes for me from experiments with ketamine I read about, where in vivo it shows to grant very rapid improvement in depression symptoms and in vitro it literally makes neurons grow new dendrites (or similar structures). As for me personally I recently experienced a loss of a loved one and my life is very empty right now. So I'm thinking about it a lot and I have some of the coping mechanism the patient from this article invented. Like for example I started walking a lot this year and thinking about a lot not so great things when doing that. I walked to the point I injured my feet from the sheer amount of walking. Ball of my right foot still hurts after two months since I quit. But I still can cry or laugh or be excited about stuff and while some aspects that were never my strong suit like keeping my living environment orderly are now very inadequate I managed to function for 3 years with my sadness gradually lessening. This belief that depressive thought have physical reason I think is helping me a lot. It makes easier to disassociate from their content. I can just gloss over their content with statement that of course I'm making up bad stories and interpretations because I'm in a bad mood caused by bad physical condition. Once I improve it by eating, sleeping and all that I'll think more reasonable thoughts.

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

scotty79 4y ago

I'm not really depressed or I don't think I am, although many things in accounts of depressed or formerly depressed people resonate with me. I'm basing my understanding of what depression is on accounts of people who were depressed and got their meds. They always mention starting to actually feel some emotion. Like in case of this patient it was sadness about his children that made him cry for the first time after many years of just thinking how sad it was. Another case that ifluenced my tinking was illustrated accout by Hyperbole and half. After she got her meds she initially started to feel anger then joy then sadness in sort of explosive manner. As opposed to before the meds when she was feeling just empty and wanting to not exist. The belief that underlying cause is not events or thoughts but physical damage to nervous system comes for me from experiments with ketamine I read about, where in vivo it shows to grant very rapid improvement in depression symptoms and in vitro it literally makes neurons grow new dendrites (or similar structures). As for me personally I recently experienced a loss of a loved one and my life is very empty right now. So I'm thinking about it a lot and I have some of the coping mechanism the patient from this article invented. Like for example I started walking a lot this year and thinking about a lot not so great things when doing that. I walked to the point I injured my feet from the sheer amount of walking. Ball of my right foot still hurts after two months since I quit. But I still can cry or laugh or be excited about stuff and while some aspects that were never my strong suit like keeping my living environment orderly are now very inadequate I managed to function for 3 years with my sadness gradually lessening. This belief that depressive thought have physical reason I think is helping me a lot. It makes easier to disassociate from their content. I can just gloss over their content with statement that of course I'm making up bad stories and interpretations because I'm in a bad mood caused by bad physical condition. Once I improve it by eating, sleeping and all that I'll think more reasonable thoughts.