4 ms·

Everything you love you will lose. Avoiding loving things because of that seems like a painful life strategy.

mylons 4y ago
Aristotle wrote quite a bit on this subject. Check out Nicomachean Ethics for a nice dry read. I think Aristotle would say that since a job is ultimately not in your control and you can be fired for reasons out of your control, you must compartmentalize your attachment, or detach altogether, if you wish to avoid pain. It’s also an insight from Buddhism that expectation and attachment are core causes for suffering.
- twh270 4y ago
  And you can lose a friendship, romantic partner, child, or anything else for reasons out of your control. Yes, expectation and attachment are core causes for pain/grief/suffering. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't have expectations or attachments. It's just that you have to decide if the (potential or actual) grief and suffering is worth it, and under what terms you're willing to continue to have that expectation or attachment. This is where acceptance and boundaries have a huge part to play. That's sometimes a difficult question. What kind of relationship to have with an emotionally abusive parent? Whether to leave a job that's financially very rewarding but is also extremely stressful and 60-80 hour weeks are common?
- roflc0ptic 4y ago
  Honestly I was tempted to quote the five remembrances from buddhism: “everything you love will come to change.” We put them up on gravestones for Halloween one year. Buddhism decidedly doesn’t say “ergo, don’t love things.” It’s more “love things (people) as they are, without attachment and in full knowledge that they are ephemeral.”
  - mylons 4y ago
    agreed. that’s why i said if you want to avoid pain. i think for a job it’s fine most of the time.
    - roflc0ptic 4y ago
      Ah, didn’t understand that. Thanks for clarifying!
praptak 4y ago
You're free to love your job, just don't confuse it with your career. Also you're loving something that cannot love you back.
jmull 4y ago
Avoiding loving anything is surely different than avoiding loving a job. I think you can get a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction out of a job without losing sight of the fact that it's a business arrangement... one which may stop being mutually beneficial for any number of reasons.
MichaelCollins 4y ago
If not loving your job means you love nothing, then I suggest you try getting a dog.
- roflc0ptic 4y ago
  I did, his name was Quincy, he died of cancer
  - dymk 4y ago
    I'm sure Quincy loved you very much, and enjoyed his finite time in this world with you
Trasmatta 4y ago
Loving things is painful. Avoiding loving things is also painful. I'm not sure which is worse. Life is full of pain no matter what you do, so I guess a big part is acceptance, and being able to sit with and accept the pain.
xwdv 4y ago
When I was younger I loved all kinds of things, until I grew older and realized many of those things weren’t all that special, and eventually the number of things I truly loved could be counted with one hand. Nowadays, I think I only need one finger.
yellowapple 4y ago
It worked well enough for the Jedi Order (well, until it didn't).

Aristotle wrote quite a bit on this subject. Check out Nicomachean Ethics for a nice dry read. I think Aristotle would say that since a job is ultimately not in your control and you can be fired for reasons out of your control, you must compartmentalize your attachment, or detach altogether, if you wish to avoid pain. It’s also an insight from Buddhism that expectation and attachment are core causes for suffering.

twh270 4y ago
And you can lose a friendship, romantic partner, child, or anything else for reasons out of your control. Yes, expectation and attachment are core causes for pain/grief/suffering. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't have expectations or attachments. It's just that you have to decide if the (potential or actual) grief and suffering is worth it, and under what terms you're willing to continue to have that expectation or attachment. This is where acceptance and boundaries have a huge part to play. That's sometimes a difficult question. What kind of relationship to have with an emotionally abusive parent? Whether to leave a job that's financially very rewarding but is also extremely stressful and 60-80 hour weeks are common?
roflc0ptic 4y ago
Honestly I was tempted to quote the five remembrances from buddhism: “everything you love will come to change.” We put them up on gravestones for Halloween one year. Buddhism decidedly doesn’t say “ergo, don’t love things.” It’s more “love things (people) as they are, without attachment and in full knowledge that they are ephemeral.”
- mylons 4y ago
  agreed. that’s why i said if you want to avoid pain. i think for a job it’s fine most of the time.
  - roflc0ptic 4y ago
    Ah, didn’t understand that. Thanks for clarifying!

praptak 4y ago

You're free to love your job, just don't confuse it with your career. Also you're loving something that cannot love you back.

jmull 4y ago

Avoiding loving anything is surely different than avoiding loving a job. I think you can get a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction out of a job without losing sight of the fact that it's a business arrangement... one which may stop being mutually beneficial for any number of reasons.

MichaelCollins 4y ago

If not loving your job means you love nothing, then I suggest you try getting a dog.

roflc0ptic 4y ago
I did, his name was Quincy, he died of cancer
- dymk 4y ago
  I'm sure Quincy loved you very much, and enjoyed his finite time in this world with you

Trasmatta 4y ago

Loving things is painful. Avoiding loving things is also painful. I'm not sure which is worse. Life is full of pain no matter what you do, so I guess a big part is acceptance, and being able to sit with and accept the pain.

xwdv 4y ago

When I was younger I loved all kinds of things, until I grew older and realized many of those things weren’t all that special, and eventually the number of things I truly loved could be counted with one hand. Nowadays, I think I only need one finger.

yellowapple 4y ago

It worked well enough for the Jedi Order (well, until it didn't).