3 things stand out to me in your description, based on similar experiences of my own (though not with drinking): - It does not seem entirely clear to me why yo

3 things stand out to me in your description, based on similar experiences of my own (though not with drinking): - It does not seem entirely clear to me why you want to stop, other than a vague idea that you might be better off that way. Figure out why first. How does not drinking make you a better person, concretely? Write that down. Share it with other people. Live your life around those important ideas. Make them a part of who you are. - Stop being hard on yourself. It will only make the problem worse. We all make mistakes. Acknowledge it, try to figure out what caused it, fix the causes as close to the root as possible, and move on. Not drinking isn't a goal you fulfill and then you've done it. Not drinking is a process that you partake in every day. Just because you didn't one day does not diminish the value of doing so in the next 1, 2, 7, 30 days. - Get external support with the two things above. Talk to a therapist or other people in your situation. When you're going in your old ruts, it's very hard to create change. It takes a lot of persistent work. It's helpful to have someone else sometimes remind you of why you are doing it, when you forget yourself.