Your story illustrates one of the difficult things about alcohol, which is that people who drink don't belong in one category. It's unhelpful to think of people

Your story illustrates one of the difficult things about alcohol, which is that people who drink don't belong in one category. It's unhelpful to think of people with a "problem" as alcoholic, IMO. All of these situations are tricky in their own ways. Yours is tricky in that you can go for a while without a drink and it seems you can stop in one night long enough to feel horrible (as opposed to continuing to drink until you pass out and push off the horrible feeling until the morning.) I skimmed through the comments and noticed a few which perked my interest. One is identifying with a drinking culture. We're bombarded by references to drinking in all forms of culture. People who drink, may do so in part because they identify with that culture. Drinking culture becomes part of them. In that case, I think just being aware of this and picking it apart in your own life can help move away from it. Then actively manage it within your personal relationships. Another is being aware of the urges which arrive, and then simply observing them without acting on them. When you have an addiction, part of the difficulty of moving away from it is that voice which tells you that you should get that thing. It can be a convincing and creative voice. As with the above item, just being aware of it and picking it apart can help. Some do like that "warm glow" feeling of a few drinks at times. That's fine for those people, but the time to stop is when you feel like you want or need to stop. The trouble is that a small drinking habit can spiral into a big drinking habit if the conditions are right. If you're already concerned, then it's good to cut it out completely.