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How to select good wine, the idiot's guide: 1. If you see it in your local liquor or grocery store, it's mass-produced so it's probably crap 2. If it's <$20,

How to select good wine, the idiot's guide: 1. If you see it in your local liquor or grocery store, it's mass-produced so it's probably crap 2. If it's <$20, it's probably crap 3. If it's less than 2 years old, it's probably crap (or needs time to mature) 4. If the label looks flashy, comical, amusing, or otherwise overly graphic, it's probably crap 5. Try lots of wine. Make a spreadsheet. Narrow down what kinds of wine you like over time. 6. Pick the grape you like. Reds: Merlot has a lot of body and alcohol. Cabernet Saugivnion is similar but more tannins. Both of them are mass-produced and often cheap and crappy, but can also be great. Zinfandel has a lot of body, is jammy with black fruit flavors. Pinot Noir is a lighter red with fewer tannins, but flavor and body can vary greatly. Syrah/Shiraz are full-bodied tannic reds. Grenache are a little sweeter and less acidic, when younger is more fruity, when older is richer-flavored. Gamay is medium-body, low-tannin, fruity. Tempranillo is medium-bodied high-alcohol. Nebbiolo is full-bodied, high-tannin, fruity/flowery & sometimes savory. Sangiovese is full-bodied, high-tannin, acidic, ages well. Pinotage is like a Pinot Noir left in a locker room. Carmenere is high-alcohol, high-tannin, spicy. Malbec is spicy & savory, and a majority of women tend to like it in my experience. Whites: Chardonnay is middle-of-the-road, and can either be super oaky or have no oak. Sauvignon Blanc is lighter and more fragrant, high-acid; Loire Valley and Napa Valley make good examples. Riesling and Gewurztraminer make dessert wines. Pinot Grigio has medium body and acidity, can sometimes taste like slightly acidic water. Verdicchio has high acid and citric flavors, can taste cheap. Chenin Blanc can be medium-body and slightly sweet and sometimes makes up cheap wines. Viognier are floral, high-acid, high-alcohol. Albarino is medium-body with fruit flavors but can be very bitter. Torrontes makes medium-body, high-alcohol, floral wines. 7. Sign up for a wine delivery thing with whatever coupons you can. Select wines based on flavors you like. Cancel it, then take their generous offers of discounts to order again. And again. And again. 8. If a wine nerd is excited about it, it might not be crap, but you'll probably hate it 9. If you try a wine and really like it, ignore everything above, buy lots of it.

isitmadeofglass 4y ago
> 1. If you see it in your local liquor or grocery store, it's mass-produced so it's probably crap All wine is mass produced. The only non mass produced wine you’ll ever find is hobbyists doing fermentations at home in the tens of liters, and while that’s a romantic concept those are surely all actual crap, or at best reach the level of “you know this doesn’t competely such, I can’t believe you made this yourself”
- tgamma 4y ago
  I disagree. You can have flat, vast vineyards where a lot of the work is done using heavy machinery (grape harvesters etc.), so a lot less manual labour is necessary to produce a huge output of vine. Or, as acquaintance winemaker of mine in the region of Lavaux does it, you can have 2 or 3 hectares of very steep terroir on the side of a hill with very narrow spacing between the vines where you have no chance of using any machinery at all, except for maybe a miniature cable car on 20 cm gauge tracks to help transport the grapes down to the cellar, where they are vinified and later bottled on site. Every step from pruning, fertilizing, harvesting to vinification and bottling is manual labour. This winemaker is doing this full time for an actual living, not as a hobby, mind you, and you very much can buy this wine from her. You won't these bottles in your supermarket of course, as it is mostly sold directly to customers who visit or via mail order. I wouldn't exactly call these wines mass produced. Still these small batch Chasselas, Pinot Gris and Pinot Noirs won't break the bank, as they are going between 15 and 22 Swiss francs (1CHF = 1USD at the moment) a bottle.
UncleMeat 4y ago
Nonsense. Even wine professionals love plenty of bottles for under $20 and there is absolutely a need for uncomplicated everyday wine that doesn't break the bank. They often love Beaujolais Nouveau, which must be drunk very young. Flashy labels used to be an indication of style over substance, but as a new generation of wine makers have entered the market that is no longer the case. Loads of great wines don't just have pictures of Chateaus on them.
dagw 4y ago
2. If it's <$20, it's probably crap 100% disagree. The world is full of sub $20 wines that are fantastic and can easily stand up to wines costing twice as much. Exploring the 'unpopular' corners of the wine world is wonderful way of unearthing real bargains. 4. If the label looks flashy, comical, amusing, or otherwise overly graphic, it's probably crap While this used to be true, younger wine makers are much more playful and creative when it comes to their wine labels and lots of their top wines often have fun labels Riesling and Gewurztraminer make dessert wines. This is a very US-centric view of these grapes. A dry Alsace or Mosel Riesling is in no way a desert wine.
- throwaway892238 4y ago
  > The world is full of sub $20 wines that are fantastic You don't have to be a wine snob to realize this is false. If the world's so full of fantastic cheap wine, it should be easy to find it. But try most of the bottles sub-$20 in most of the USA and they will be crap. Moreover, if you are a winemaker and you know you have a flavor bomb on your hands, why would you only charge $15 for it when you can charge $25? These are businesspeople, not idiots or philanthropists.
  - dagw 4y ago
    Moreover, if you are a winemaker and you know you have a flavor bomb on your hands, why would you only charge $15 for it when you can charge $25? Wine is sold on so much more than just 'flavor'. 'Brand' identity is a huge part of pricing. A pinot noir from Burgundy will cost more than an equally good pinot noir from, for example, Austria, simply because "Burgundy" is a much stronger brand that you have to pay a premium for. An importer trying to introduce Slovenian wines into a new market will have to offer the wines at a discount as it where, because it's a new brand that people are sceptical about. Another factor is that there is no universal taste. A wine can be well made and taste really great to you, but have taste profile that is 'unpopular' in your market.

isitmadeofglass 4y ago

> 1. If you see it in your local liquor or grocery store, it's mass-produced so it's probably crap All wine is mass produced. The only non mass produced wine you’ll ever find is hobbyists doing fermentations at home in the tens of liters, and while that’s a romantic concept those are surely all actual crap, or at best reach the level of “you know this doesn’t competely such, I can’t believe you made this yourself”

tgamma 4y ago
I disagree. You can have flat, vast vineyards where a lot of the work is done using heavy machinery (grape harvesters etc.), so a lot less manual labour is necessary to produce a huge output of vine. Or, as acquaintance winemaker of mine in the region of Lavaux does it, you can have 2 or 3 hectares of very steep terroir on the side of a hill with very narrow spacing between the vines where you have no chance of using any machinery at all, except for maybe a miniature cable car on 20 cm gauge tracks to help transport the grapes down to the cellar, where they are vinified and later bottled on site. Every step from pruning, fertilizing, harvesting to vinification and bottling is manual labour. This winemaker is doing this full time for an actual living, not as a hobby, mind you, and you very much can buy this wine from her. You won't these bottles in your supermarket of course, as it is mostly sold directly to customers who visit or via mail order. I wouldn't exactly call these wines mass produced. Still these small batch Chasselas, Pinot Gris and Pinot Noirs won't break the bank, as they are going between 15 and 22 Swiss francs (1CHF = 1USD at the moment) a bottle.

UncleMeat 4y ago

Nonsense. Even wine professionals love plenty of bottles for under $20 and there is absolutely a need for uncomplicated everyday wine that doesn't break the bank. They often love Beaujolais Nouveau, which must be drunk very young. Flashy labels used to be an indication of style over substance, but as a new generation of wine makers have entered the market that is no longer the case. Loads of great wines don't just have pictures of Chateaus on them.

dagw 4y ago

2. If it's <$20, it's probably crap 100% disagree. The world is full of sub $20 wines that are fantastic and can easily stand up to wines costing twice as much. Exploring the 'unpopular' corners of the wine world is wonderful way of unearthing real bargains. 4. If the label looks flashy, comical, amusing, or otherwise overly graphic, it's probably crap While this used to be true, younger wine makers are much more playful and creative when it comes to their wine labels and lots of their top wines often have fun labels Riesling and Gewurztraminer make dessert wines. This is a very US-centric view of these grapes. A dry Alsace or Mosel Riesling is in no way a desert wine.

throwaway892238 4y ago
> The world is full of sub $20 wines that are fantastic You don't have to be a wine snob to realize this is false. If the world's so full of fantastic cheap wine, it should be easy to find it. But try most of the bottles sub-$20 in most of the USA and they will be crap. Moreover, if you are a winemaker and you know you have a flavor bomb on your hands, why would you only charge $15 for it when you can charge $25? These are businesspeople, not idiots or philanthropists.
- dagw 4y ago
  Moreover, if you are a winemaker and you know you have a flavor bomb on your hands, why would you only charge $15 for it when you can charge $25? Wine is sold on so much more than just 'flavor'. 'Brand' identity is a huge part of pricing. A pinot noir from Burgundy will cost more than an equally good pinot noir from, for example, Austria, simply because "Burgundy" is a much stronger brand that you have to pay a premium for. An importer trying to introduce Slovenian wines into a new market will have to offer the wines at a discount as it where, because it's a new brand that people are sceptical about. Another factor is that there is no universal taste. A wine can be well made and taste really great to you, but have taste profile that is 'unpopular' in your market.