4 ms·

I'm 25 and I've never really been in a relationship. I'm an attractive guy but I've consistently punched below my weight class with women. Most women that I've

I'm 25 and I've never really been in a relationship. I'm an attractive guy but I've consistently punched below my weight class with women. Most women that I've actually been interested in I've been too scared to actually make a move. Now I'm in the south bay and while my career is nice I just practically never have random encounters with women and it's getting me really down. I'm going to be moving to SF soon to hopefully change that, but I don't really know anyone in the city and I don't really like the idea of dealing with all the crime up there. Meanwhile I look with jealousy upon my south bay friends who already have relationships. Relationships and women are something that I really wish I had figured out when I was younger. I'm not even sure how a girl would react if I told her I've never been in a relationship, but probably not positively. Unfortunately this area seems like it's going to be the biggest struggle in my life, and I hate the fact that something so grueling for me seems to be so easy and, well, fun for the other 99% of people out there. Also I'm not sure if I'm gay. My life experience leads me to believe that I might just be gay and in denial. I'm not sure. Wish I had figured this out in college. Another one: I wish I hadn't done sports in high school. My natural interests were always along the lines of music, acting, programming, etc. I never really liked sports, honestly. But my parents kind of pushed me into it. So I spent 4 years in high school sucking at sports. I did try, very hard at certain points, but I'm just not a natural athlete. I think it made me a stronger person to have to deal with that but I wish I had been able to pursue things I was actually interested in during HS. Also, I've smoked way too much weed.

erenyeager 4y ago
I don’t think it matters if you’ve never been in a relationship, you’re not looking for the right women if they are upset with you about that. Also you don’t have to come up with a label for your interests. Seems like you need guidance in your life. Lots of ways to get guidance, idk if HN has a DM feature but I think we have some common areas. Anyways, hope you have figure out some stuff
badpun 4y ago
> I hate the fact that something so grueling for me seems to be so easy and, well, fun for the other 99% of people out there. In reality, that number is way, WAY lower, especially at your age? Perhaps 10-20%. The rest is struggling too, in one way or another (some may not realise it at the time).
WheelsAtLarge 4y ago
Careful, you are young, don't wait and hope that things will get better without you doing something to change the situation. Ask for help now. Don't wait until you are 35,45,55,65... The best thing you can do now is act and do something. Failure is better than no action.

erenyeager 4y ago

I don’t think it matters if you’ve never been in a relationship, you’re not looking for the right women if they are upset with you about that. Also you don’t have to come up with a label for your interests. Seems like you need guidance in your life. Lots of ways to get guidance, idk if HN has a DM feature but I think we have some common areas. Anyways, hope you have figure out some stuff

badpun 4y ago

> I hate the fact that something so grueling for me seems to be so easy and, well, fun for the other 99% of people out there. In reality, that number is way, WAY lower, especially at your age? Perhaps 10-20%. The rest is struggling too, in one way or another (some may not realise it at the time).

WheelsAtLarge 4y ago

Careful, you are young, don't wait and hope that things will get better without you doing something to change the situation. Ask for help now. Don't wait until you are 35,45,55,65... The best thing you can do now is act and do something. Failure is better than no action.