3 ms·

I had to get out of an abusive relationship to see it was abusive, which I think is true for a lot - maybe even the vast majority - of people. She was emotional

by pc86 4y ago

I had to get out of an abusive relationship to see it was abusive, which I think is true for a lot - maybe even the vast majority - of people. She was emotionally abusive/manipulative, and that would occasionally branch into physicality. Never anything as overt as hitting/slapping, but certainly the occasional grab or shove. I also had friends bring up the emotional part (nobody ever saw anything physical) but your mind gets pretty twisted when you're in a relationship like that. It's really hard to see it through an objective lens until you're already on your way out, or even far removed. I don't know your specific circumstances but I'm confident you will continue to get better.

bitcoinmoney 4y ago
Can u share some obvious and non obvious signs you’re in an abusive relationship?
- theGnuMe 4y ago
  Trust your gut feeling. Also ask yourself would you otherwise be friends with this person? Do they truly value you for you? Do you feel emotionally safe with them? Do your friends like the person. If you have a good relationship with your family otherwise, do they like your partner? If things seem off, they probably are. Also find a therapist and discuss things with them. They will be able to tell you if things are healthy or not. The classic symptoms are alienating you from your friends and family. Negging or putting you down... even subtle jabs. They make arguments personal as an attack on your character and identity or suggest you are attacking their character. Deep down it is all about control and fear. Usually this person will have more narcissistic traits, see everything as a reflection of them and their needs. You are just a tool to meet their needs rather than an individual human. For folks who have been in traumatic relationships and need help healing I would recommend therapy with a trauma therapist (something like EMDR).

by pc86 4y ago

bitcoinmoney 4y ago

Can u share some obvious and non obvious signs you’re in an abusive relationship?

theGnuMe 4y ago
Trust your gut feeling. Also ask yourself would you otherwise be friends with this person? Do they truly value you for you? Do you feel emotionally safe with them? Do your friends like the person. If you have a good relationship with your family otherwise, do they like your partner? If things seem off, they probably are. Also find a therapist and discuss things with them. They will be able to tell you if things are healthy or not. The classic symptoms are alienating you from your friends and family. Negging or putting you down... even subtle jabs. They make arguments personal as an attack on your character and identity or suggest you are attacking their character. Deep down it is all about control and fear. Usually this person will have more narcissistic traits, see everything as a reflection of them and their needs. You are just a tool to meet their needs rather than an individual human. For folks who have been in traumatic relationships and need help healing I would recommend therapy with a trauma therapist (something like EMDR).