In my opinion, the issue here is the iPad. When I started using computers, it was a tower with a proper screen and no camera no microphone. That meant the risk

In my opinion, the issue here is the iPad. When I started using computers, it was a tower with a proper screen and no camera no microphone. That meant the risk of apps spying on me was low and my parents could see everything on-screen to make sure bad stuff doesn't happen. But giving the kid an iPad means apps know that there's a camera and a microphone available. And it means typically nobody else sees what's on your screen. And it makes it easy to bring "the internet" into your bedroom. Using social media always means giving up privacy. So I feel like it's not unreasonable for parents to require it as a prerequisite for a minor to interact online. And that means the device needs to have a screen which is easily visible to parents at most/all times.