5 ms·

It's very hard to develop a built-in resistance to this kind of manipulation, except for one very strong thing: people who are likely to gaslight you are likely

It's very hard to develop a built-in resistance to this kind of manipulation, except for one very strong thing: people who are likely to gaslight you are likely to not respect your boundaries because gaslighting is a form of boundary violation. The other one is to have a robust support network of the kind of people who respect your boundaries. Those behaviors are correlated with identifying when someone is trying to gaslight and warning you. This is particularly helpful when you are already vulnerable due to poor social intelligence, trauma from previous abuse, or otherwise in a vulnerable moment (tired, inebriated, angry or upset, etc).

TheMightyLlama 4y ago
If gas lighting is a form of boundary violation, and I’m stretching here, could it be classified as mind-rape?
- ntonozzi 4y ago
  No, there are plenty of ways to violate a boundary besides rape.
- PuppyTailWags 4y ago
  No; additionally, the conflation of rape with all boundary violation also makes it less likely for people who are victims to identify when they're being abused because abuse takes way more forms than sexual violence. Please consider the implications of such.
AstralStorm 4y ago
I wonder how vulnerable are people with photographic or otherwise eideitic memory. Perhaps even just very accurate as measured on a memory test. It could be possible that you cannot really gaslight someone about a thing they remember to never have happened.
- PuppyTailWags 4y ago
  It's not about how well your memory works; it's about how you can be convinced not to believe yourself. This extends not just to what you remember but how you remember it. For example, saying something extremely insulting or demeaning and then acting extremely hurt when there's pushback and accusing the person pushing back of malice and harm. This strategy can often take someone offguard, especially if they genuinely care for and want the relationship to remain positive, being told that no, they are actually the party that is causing drama/hurting others can really fuck up the psyche even if they remember that they were the ones insulted, because the situation repositions that they are the ones at fault for feeling hurt and their hurt feelings are bad/should be suppressed to maintain the relationship.

TheMightyLlama 4y ago

If gas lighting is a form of boundary violation, and I’m stretching here, could it be classified as mind-rape?

ntonozzi 4y ago
No, there are plenty of ways to violate a boundary besides rape.
PuppyTailWags 4y ago
No; additionally, the conflation of rape with all boundary violation also makes it less likely for people who are victims to identify when they're being abused because abuse takes way more forms than sexual violence. Please consider the implications of such.

AstralStorm 4y ago

I wonder how vulnerable are people with photographic or otherwise eideitic memory. Perhaps even just very accurate as measured on a memory test. It could be possible that you cannot really gaslight someone about a thing they remember to never have happened.

PuppyTailWags 4y ago
It's not about how well your memory works; it's about how you can be convinced not to believe yourself. This extends not just to what you remember but how you remember it. For example, saying something extremely insulting or demeaning and then acting extremely hurt when there's pushback and accusing the person pushing back of malice and harm. This strategy can often take someone offguard, especially if they genuinely care for and want the relationship to remain positive, being told that no, they are actually the party that is causing drama/hurting others can really fuck up the psyche even if they remember that they were the ones insulted, because the situation repositions that they are the ones at fault for feeling hurt and their hurt feelings are bad/should be suppressed to maintain the relationship.